Everything Is On Fire
by Dreams Of A Shipper
Summary: Levi has demons he has buried in his past. Things he doesn't want to remember. When he meets Petra, their relationship brings about circumstances in which he can't outrun his past. Will the new developments take its toll on their relationship, or will it make them stronger?
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, this Levi X Petra story started off as a fluff piece, but then a story plot came to me, so I couldn't say no to the little story makers living in my head! They work so hard, bless their cotton socks. :/**

 **...Yes, back to reality!**

 **Ok, so the first chapter is fluff, sticking to my original one shot, just a little relationship builder between them.**

 **The next few chapters are where the story kicks in.**

 **It's not the best structured story, hence the after thought of a story plot, but try just roll with it! ;) (And also, as usual, Levi has turned slightly too emotional I think! :/ Ah but cuteness overtook me and it couldn't be helped! ;) )**

 **Its here for one simple reason; there is not, nor will ever be, enough Rivetra in the world!**

 **...Disclaimer same as always... Don't own any of the wonderful characters... :(**

The heavy fingers of sleep delicately withdrew from his mind, being slowly curled back by the happy, heat filled, memories of last night. He remembered lips and hands and intertwined limbs, content sighs and whispered words.

Those golden eyes as they looked right into his soul and stoked alive the long cold fires of his heart with one look.

Smiling to himself, he curled his arm around her waist where she'd been asleep, tucked against his side.

He frowned as he realised however, that he only held an armful of blankets. He cracked open his sleep deprived eyes and took in his empty bed.

Movement caught his eye and he looked up to find Petra zipping up the back of the dress she'd been wearing last night.

Dragging a hand across his face to clear his bleary vision, he sat up slightly, his frown deepening.

"Hey," he said softly, his throat thick and heavy.

"Oh crap! You gave me a heart attack!" Petra placed a hand on her forehead after leaping. Golden eyes turned up to look at him, a sheepish, awkward expression filling them.

A contrast to the lustful, alluring look they'd been full of last night.

"Where are you going?" He asked slowly, feeling hollow at her absence from his side.

"Ah, I am so, so late! I've to fly home and get a shower and change for work - where is my other shoe?"

She pushed her short hair back, caramel locks falling into her face as she looked under the bed. Levi would have found it amusing except for one thing.

"I thought you said you worked nights?"

"There it is! Ah...yeah and morning shifts at the restaurant when I've no college," she said, strapping her shoe on hastily.

"Hmm, ok."

Levi couldn't believe it. She was blowing him off. He hadn't expected that from her.

A pang of hurt and rejection were not a welcome thing, especially after a night like last night.

Looking up, finished dressing, she smiled that heart achingly beautiful smile, the one that had nearly cracked him the first time he saw it.

"Last night was amazing. I had such a good time," she said softly and, for a second he forget his wounded pride, her dreamy expression pulling him right back in.

Until her phone alarm went off, shattering the moment.

"Oh crap! Now I'm reeeeally late! Can I call you sometime? Organise meeting up?" She smiled, shouldering her bag and clasping the door handle.

Levi didn't know what to say.

Of course he wanted to see her again, he'd imagined this happening since he met her, but this...this was just a tragedy.

"Yeah, sure," he offered weakly, not having it in him right now for what would have been a more 'him' style snappy response.

"Great! Ok. Well, I'd better fly! See you, Levi," she smiled at him before shutting the door behind her, her heels clicking on the wooden floor as she flew down the stairs and out his front door.

He was left lying there, still propped on one elbow. He stayed like that for a few more seconds before collapsing back on his bed, his hands covering his face.

"Well, that was a fiasco of a disaster!" He muttered to himself.

How could he have been so stupid? There was a reason he didn't do this, didn't take girls home on a whim... But she was no ordinary girl and it sure as hell wasn't a whim. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Petra since his friend Günter had introduced them.

His fellow firefighter (Günter was a candidate, so not full time yet) knew her from his college course; physiotherapy or sports injury rehabilitation or something like that. Levi could never remember.

She was unlike any girl he'd ever met before, caring and sweet as sugar dipped sugar, yet with a sarcastic humour and a fiery demeanour when needed.

They had hit it off straight away. She just got him, understood how to gently pry away those defensive walls and leave him open without it hurting - for once.

Günter had introduced them at the bar they all usually went to, Petra and another guy from his course, Eld, having tagged along.

He'd flicked a glance up at her when she approached him at the edge of the little group, wanting to be left alone to drink his scotch, but he'd found himself doing a double take as a girl spun from old gold, it seemed, captured his attention.

"Hey. Petra," she smiled, extending a slender hand. She was small, shorter than him even. He paused for a brief second before reaching forward himself and taking her hand in his.

"Levi," he'd choked out.

"Oh. You work with Günter, right? He said you're the best on the squad," she said it so casually, no mocking or fake interest. Merely a genuine observation. That was odd for him.

"Well...it's a tough job... Got to be on your best game..."

Why was he finding it so hard to get words out? Who was this girl and what had she done to him?

She had smiled and asked about being a firefighter, smiling and encouraging him to talk. He didn't know why he did, but she somehow kept him going. Before he knew it, they were sitting at a booth, laughing at something she had said.

He felt like a stranger to himself, putty for her to mould and he oddly didn't care. She was captivating and he felt like it was only them the way she was now looking at him. They talked for a solid two and a half hours before they all headed home, work, college etc beckoning everyone to their own beds.

He hadn't stopped thinking about her, so next time he saw her, randomly bumping into each other at a cafe one morning, his heart seized up, hardly believing his eyes.

"Levi! It's great to see you!" She'd beamed, clutching a steaming cup in her hand.

"Hey," he'd stood staring like a creep before mentally kicking himself, hard.

"Well, this is an unexpected treat," she said, briefly placing a hand on his wrist. Damn her eyes! They were so hypnotising, he couldn't think to make a coherent sentence.

"You headed to class?" He managed to get out. She nodded and hummed an affirmative, taking a sip of her sweet smelling coffee.

"What about you? Are you on duty today?"

"No, not till later tonight," he shook his head.

Come on man, get up the courage.

 _Just. Ask. Her!_

"Are you.." He cleared his throat before making himself continue, her face expectant."Are you in a rush? Or.. Could you stay for a coffee?"

She smiled at him shyly this time, and peeked at her watch, biting her lower lip.

Damn, he just wanted to grab her and bite it for her...he really needed help.

"I've got time," she said softly, warmth dancing in her eyes.

So they'd sat for twenty minutes, talking away again.

Cold coffee dregs sat in the bottom of their cups, his porcelain, hers styrofoam, rendered pointless for his sake. She was telling him about her upcoming thesis, how she was struggling to make up her final portion due to her loud room mates.

"Well, you could always come work at mine," he'd offered serenely, before realising how flirtatious that must have come off. He felt heat tinge his cheeks.

Petra was turning him into a mass of bumbling emotions he'd never realised existed in him before.

Of course, being her, she just chuckled softly, pink gracing her cheeks, too, much to his delight.

"That's a really nice offer. I might have to take you up on that."

She'd had to get to class then, but as she walked out, waving at him through the glass, he'd realised something.

He was falling hard for this girl.

That's why it had hurt so much when she'd blasted out of his place that morning.

In all the time they'd talked, she'd never once mentioned a morning job.

It was just an excuse and it had Levi wondering one thing.

Why had she suddenly found herself needing an excuse?

"You must be awful in bed."

"Thanks Erwin. You're such a good friend," Levi muttered darkly, continuing his boxing exercises.

The two men were doing their usual off-day morning workout.

Usually Levi enjoyed it, feeling his muscles ache and burn, pushing himself past his limit.

Today, he just felt like kicking everything to pieces.

"So she blew you off? You still got to sleep with her, didn't you? Isn't that what you wanted?" His tall blonde friend challenged him. He knew that Levi wasn't the kind of man to just sleep around. He didn't open up easily and he definitely wouldn't want some stranger sharing his bed.

Levi gave a sharp volley of hits to the punching bag, his bandage clad fists chaffing and slamming again and again against the leather.

Erwin raised an extremely generous eyebrow at this, watching with amusement as his short friend nearly knocked him backwards as he held the bag for him, Levi's ferocity and obvious frustration fuelling this flurry of fists.

"Yes, but not like that. I thought..." He panted and gave the bag one final blow, an 'ooph' noise emanating from Erwin as he took the brunt of the blow.

"I just thought that when -If! _IF._.. I slept with her..." He corrected, unwrapping his hands, "That it would end a bit differently."

"And you're sure she wasn't telling the truth? Maybe you just forgot she'd told you," Erwin suggested, picking up some sparring gloves.

"No way. I'd have remembered or she would have mentioned it, surely, about having to leave early?"

"Not if she was being happily distracted! ...Oh yeah. Which we've established she wasn't, actually."

He had to duck to avoid the glove flying at his head.

Chuckling, he slung it back, Levi catching it easily, an unamused expression darkening his features.

"Levi! This girl really has got you bad! I've never seen you quite so emotional before. You're practically hysterical," Erwin continued teasing. Probably unwise; Levi was oddly strong and swift for his size.

That last comment bothered Levi. While he knew his oldest friend was teasing, there was a dangerous truth behind it. He'd let her get under his skin and now he was suffering for it. She'd abused the thing he'd swore to keep locked away ever since that night...

Damn, her! With her big eyes and her soft lips and toned body and creamy skin...

His heart gave a little lurch, an unbidden flash from last night smashing through his mind.

Her hands wound in his hair and around his shoulders, his lips tasting across her neck, collar bone and down the hollow of the centre of her chest. Her skin left his feeling like he'd come in contact with silk covered pearl, smooth and glowing.

She'd whispered his name and he'd smiled into her stomach, hands caressing her hips.

"Levi!" He was snapped back to the present, Erwin waving a hand in front of his face. A frown was shadowing his features, genuine concern for his friends peace of mind finally getting the better of him.

"Are you sure you want to keep going?" Beckoning at the sparring gear left temporarily abandoned, Erwin was about to insist they forget it, hit the pool or just head home.

Instead, a more familiar look of blank boredom crashed down over Levi's features.

"No. You know what? You're right, I got to sleep with her. That's fine. I honestly don't care anymore."

With that lie, he raised his hands and taunted Erwin on, training being his main focus once more.

Half eleven? Petra was never going to see the back of this shift. It had been a bad start, being nearly twenty minutes late due to her delay at Levi's. She'd hated rushing out of there like a fleeing convict, but she'd had no choice.

It had only been as she'd been sitting on the bus, nothing else she could do now to speed up her mad dash, that it hit her how bad she must have come off back there. She also only realised what his tone and lack of words meant.

He thought she was blowing him off!

The poor guy, he had no reason to believe otherwise. She'd been so distracted and over tired that she hadn't even said a proper goodbye...although she wasn't sure what that would have been.

A kiss? A hug? A handshake? A fist bump?!

Anything would have been better than that 'See ya, I'm outta here!' routine she'd pulled. And she'd unknowingly fed him the oldest blow off lines of the century!

Groaning, she pressed her head against the glass of the bus.

She'd blown it. She really, really, liked Levi.

He was dark and brooding, but not in a bad boy kind of way. More in an 'approach me if you dare' kind of way that she'd seen through straight away.

He was a genuine down to earth, caring person, even if he seemed determined to hide it from the rest of world. She hadn't given up though, and he'd slowly come out his shell. She'd felt a connection there, one she hoped wasn't on her part alone.

When she'd met him at the coffee shop, her feelings were confirmed. It hadn't been a once off.

She was constantly thinking of him, too. His dark hair and chiselled features, that deep, rolling voice. Oh man, he was so sexy. And when she looked into his eyes, they were so deep and fathomless, an onyx colour that was like a lightning storm over a black ocean, light and dark mixing perfectly to create a dark that exuded its own glow.

She'd been so preoccupied by thoughts of him she decided to hell with it. She was going to make sure she saw him again. What had she to lose?

So when Eld and Günter were talking about going out, her pulse had leapt when Günter had mentioned his work colleagues were going to this ultra cool, dark, not quite nightclub, not quite bar and they should go. She'd tried to keep it cool when he asked if she wanted to go, too. Of course she was going.

A giddy excitement had swept over her that night as she donned on outfit after outfit. She wasn't one who usually cared what she wore or what others thought, but she'd realised she cared what Levi might possibly think of her. So she'd settled for a black zip jumper dress that still flattered her figure without making her look desperate. Add a thick waist belt and ankle high booted heels and she was ready to go.

Sighing and giving her hair a last back comb to try breath some life into it, she scrutinised her reflection in the mirror.

"Ok. You like this boy. He clearly likes you too; Günter said he'd never seen him talk so much to anyone. Good sign," she encouraged her reflection.

A horn cut through the night outside her apartment, signalling the arrival of her lift.

"Right. Here we go."

They'd arrived after Levi and his work friends, making her almost more nervous. Her palms were sweaty and she couldn't stop fidgeting. Eld had noticed, leaning over to call to her over the music as Günter went ahead to greet his work mates.

"Relax. You look great, he won't be able to take his eyes off you," he grinned cheekily. She feigned off this assumption, smacking him on the arm when he winked and nudged her towards Levi's direction.

Holy crap...he looked incredible. He was wearing dark jeans, a simple grey ribbed top and a leather jacket to top off the look.

Petra thought she'd melt right there and then.

Taking a deep breath, she headed over to him. He was chatting to the woman from their squad, Hanji, but his conversation stopped when he saw her. She hoped that was good and she hadn't just interrupted an important conversation.

"Hi guys," she waved, trying to keep her nerves at bay.

"Petra! Whoa, look at you! You look drop dead gorgeous!" Hanji grinned, grasping the girl in a hug. Hanji was lovely, Petra had instantly liked her, so this helped ease her, too.

"So do you! You look incredible," she exclaimed. The eccentric woman had abandoned her glasses in favour of contacts, making her brown eyes look even bigger. Her voluminous hair was cascading in big, loose curls down her shoulders. She only needed the slightest eyeliner and mascara to complete the dramatic look. She was stunning. Petra found herself so boring and plain in comparison, not that it bothered her.

Hanji waved her off with a chuckle and Petra then glanced at Levi.

"Hi," she repeated, smiling timidly at him. She hadn't seen him since their impromptu run in at the coffee shop, and clearly the time did nothing to lessen the chemistry.

She felt her nerves fade away as he smiled back, his eyes sucking her in with their monsoon of complex emotion.

"Excuse me, I need to get Erwin to buy me a drink," Hanji smiled, referring to her boyfriend (head of their particular fire squad she believed) before slipping away with a wave from Petra.

"How are you?" She asked, daring to take a step closer. She noticed him give her a quick once over before he downed the rest of his drink,

"Good, good," he nodded. The two shared a nervous little laugh before Levi offered her the chair where Hanji had been.

"Isn't she coming back?"

Levi really hoped not.

He turned to check on his friends progress with Erwin. The brunette was standing, arms around his waist as Erwin whispered into her ear, his hand caressing her back.

"No, she'll be a while," Levi replied confidently.

Petra willingly took a seat, turning to face Levi. She wasn't sure she was capable of being in this close proximity when he looked this amazing.

She cast around for a topic, but he saved her the trouble by asking about college.

That stared the ball rolling and in no time they were chatting away again.

She couldn't help herself, she kept touching his arm or knee when they were talking. She had no clue what had come over her. She just knew she needed to be closer to him.

As the night wore on and more drinks were consumed, the two ended up, once again in their own private booth, sitting so close she feel the warmth radiate of him.

She couldn't stop staring at his mouth, and his voice...amazing. She also noticed he had tenderly brushed hair of her face a few times now, arm resting lightly on her shoulders. She wanted to curl up against his chest and feel the closeness and strength of his body.

They were drawing ever closer, leaning towards each other as they talked, staring into each other's eyes, when Aurou and Mike, two more firefighters, came over and announced everyone was leaving, going to some other place.

"I actually better not. I'm so tired," Petra unwillingly told Levi.

A flash of disappointment crossed his features, but he nodded understandingly.

Petra and Levi reluctantly got up from the booth and, before she knew it, she felt his fingers intertwine with hers, guiding her across the floor. She grasped back, wishing he'd pull her into his arms and kiss her.

Erwin fell into step with them near the door, Levi telling him Petra had to go and that he'd see her off before meeting up with them.

The cold air hit her as they exited the building, the group clustered around the pavement waiting for a taxi. She shivered involuntarily and automatically hugged closer to Levi.

He looked down at her, opening his jacket and wrapping it and his arm around her. She smiled and pulled closer, her head basically resting on his chest now.

Distantly, she heard Erwin asking how they were getting home.

She'd felt Levi tense slightly at what could be have been misinterpreted, heard him hesitate and decided, because making these decisions drunk was always wise, that she'd step in.

"Actually, I don't live too far from here. I was thinking of taking a walk...if you want to join me, Levi?" She looked up into his dark eyes and saw a slightly softer look had taken up residence in them.

"Yeah, of course. It's too dangerous to walk alone at night," he'd offered.

Turning to smile at Erwin, who had an amused expression on his surprisingly sober face (seriously, Petra had seen them all doing several shots on top of a lot of drinks), she nodded her head.

"Ok, you lovebirds. Be good," he grinned, slapping Levi on the back.

Levi scowled back, but Erwin had already turned, snagging Hanji by the waist as she was laughing with Mike.

Levi and Petra had headed off then, the noise and hustle from the bar fading behind them. They walked with their arms still around each other, a nervous apprehension hanging in the air.

After walking for a while, snippets of conversation hanging in the air with their foggy breaths, Petra stopped, the drink having faded enough for her to realise.

"Um...I may have..lied slightly," she grimaced, feeling cold now she'd pulled away a bit to tell him.

"What?" He frowned, shoulders stiffening.

"Ah..well...I...huh, I don't live near here... I just wanted to walk alone with you for a while," she shrugged sheepishly.

Levi blinked, standing still for a second before dropping his head and chuckling softly. Extending a hand towards her, he'd drawn her closer again, smiling down at her.

"It's ok. I don't mind that, not one bit," he whispered, gazing down into her eyes.

Good grief, he was insanely attractive!

It kept hitting her every now and then, and she couldn't believe her luck that this guy was into her. He was so nice, so thoughtful and quiet... He was perfect.

She realised with renewed nervousness that they were centimetres apart, his fingers gently tracing her jaw, the other hand pulling the small of her back towards him.

Her hands came up to rest on his chest, her heart frantically drumming away in her ribcage.

Levi noticed and gave a slight smile, leaning down to brush his nose across her cheekbone. She let out an involuntary little breath: the feel of his skin on hers, his face so close was far more intoxicating than any alcohol.

Slowly, delicately, he skimmed his lips across her cheek, before turning to kiss her other cheek.

She rested her forehead against his temple and they stayed like that for a couple of seconds before he slid his nose across her face, his lips finally, tantalisingly, feathering across hers.

Petra's heart exploded, sensations and little fireworks going off in her body.

Deepening the kiss, Levi tenderly grasped the back of her neck, securing her closely to him.

Her fingers were clasping his top, standing slightly on her tip toes to bring herself even closer. His lips were warm, yet slightly rough, probably from constantly being around smoke and heat. He brushed up her lip, parting it from the bottom one slightly, allowing room for his tongue to skim hers. With a leap of her stomach, she complied, opening her mouth to allow him even more entry. His head tilted to get more purchase and her senses, her every pore, were joyfully overwhelmed by him. They kissed for a solid couple of minutes, her arms now draped around his neck, his hands holding her hips, keeping her close.

When they finally pulled back, foreheads touching, she felt her cheeks on fire, both their breaths hitched slightly. He glanced into her eyes, his lids heavy with lust and he clenched his jaw before speaking.

"You know, I actually _do_ live near by. If...if you wanted..." He trailed off. She could see the hint of nervousness in his eyes and she thought he couldn't be more adorable.

"Ok," she whispered, kissing him again lightly.

He smiled, wrapping his arm around her once again and she fit against his chest, hand over his heart as they walked.

Petra smiled, storing this moment away.

It was definitely one she'd want to remember.

Jolted back to reality by a pothole, Petra glanced out the windows of the bus, making sure she hadn't spaced out and missed her stop. When she was satisfied she hadn't, she wiped the sleep from the corner of her eyes, avoiding the flick of mascara she'd applied rushing around.

She wanted to slap herself.

If she'd blown it with him because she was a headless chicken in the morning, then she'd kick herself!

She battled internally with herself on how to amend this problem. Her instincts left with her one decision.

She needed to see him.

Taking her phone out, she dialled, not sure she wanted him, or his voicemail.

It rang and rang, before a deep, bored voice clicked on.

"This is Levi. Leave a message if it's important. I'll get back to you."

Short and to the point, she frowned.

Hearing the beep signalling her to start bumbling like an idiot, she took a deep breath before hoping to goodness she was about to fix her mistake.

 **Right, so that's the end of chapter one! You've now seen what I meant about Levi being a bit too...lovey dovey! But he loves Petra, so that's my pathetic defence! :P**

 **Ah, yeah, for people who decided to follow this (You may be the only one Sail or Nov!) the next chapter will probably be up in the next day or so.. This story is writing faster than I can type and am very busy at the minute! But nothing will keep my from fanfic for too long, so don't despair! :)**

 **Again, I'd loooove to hear what you guys think! So drop a line, even just one of these guys - :) - and I'll be happy!**

 **God bless, happy reading! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Finally got around to actually writing more of one of my stories! Just been so busy, so sorry for those who were waiting for updates! :) More will come, I promise! I just need to make myself write it. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy and again, please review. Also thanks to all who have or favourited etc my stories! Means a lot :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Levi was sitting in the locker room, shaking his towel impatiently over his hair. His shirt clung to his still damp body, but he didn't care.

He was exhausted.

He may have gone slightly overboard with his workout, ignoring the fatigue and burn in his muscles far past when he should have.

Erwin was getting his things from his locker, his towel slung over his shoulder.

"You sure you don't mind dropping me off?" He asked, glancing at Levi as he packed.

"Course not. Besides, how else are you going to get home with your car in the garage?" He questioned sarcastically.

His friend just smiled and rolled his eyes slightly at Levi's tone.

"Thanks, Levi. I owe you."

Levi pulled his phone out of his bag, switching it on. He didn't see the point of leaving it on when he wasn't around.

It irked him to hear other peoples phone ringing ceaselessly in their lockers, so he wouldn't leave his to do the same.

He placed it down beside him on the bench, packing his stuff away.

He kept his mind on the task at hand, refusing to let her rush back into his thoughts now they weren't solely focused on the exercises in front of him.

She got what she wanted, so did he.

So why did he keep replaying that morning, his heart clenching a bit more each time?

Sighing inwardly in agonised frustration, he grabbed out his deodorant, spraying his underarms in short, angry bursts.

"Hey, I'm going to get a bottle of water in the shop. I left mine in Hanji's jeep," Erwin said as he strolled out the locker room, calling back over his shoulder, "You want anything?"

"No, I'm good," Levi replied flatly. The door swung shut, leaving him alone.

He had just packed his last things when his phone vibrated beside him.

Picking it up, his screen told him he had a voicemail.

He dialled into it, holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he picked up his bag, ready to leave.

The voice operator finished talking and the message clicked on.

 _"Hey Levi. It's Petra."_

Levi stopped dead, bag hanging in his grasp.

 _"I was just ringing to...well, I mean, I just wanted to ..."_ Her sigh whispered down the phone. He could hear voices and an engine in the background, like she had been on a bus.

 _"I wanted to say I'm so sorry for the way I ran out of there this morning,"_ her hushed voice told him in a serious tone. " _I was just so late and so tired. I didn't even think...Look, I know you're probably not very happy with me right now, but I hope you'll let me explain myself properly. I really did have an amazing time."_

Levi's hand was clenched around his phone so hard it twisted in his grip and he hastily snapped it back to his ear.

He couldn't believe she'd actually rang him.

 _"Anyway, I'll be finished in work around half two, so if you want to meet up, I'll be in the Blue Bamboo Cafe shop at threeish.. My phone will be off for work, so...I'll just see you there. Or not..ugh..Bye."_

As an almost afterthought, her voice hastily added, _"I really hope you do come though. Please, think about it if you're not, ok?"_

Then the line clicked off.

Levi slowly lowered his phone from his ear, staring at the screen.

She'd called him.

She'd called him, even after this morning and she wanted to meet up.

Glancing at his watch, he saw he had enough time to drop Erwin off, go home and change before he went to meet her. Because of course he was going to go.

Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Levi marched out of the locker room, shoving his phone into his pocket.

This wasn't going to be such a bad day after all, he thought, and a secret smile crossed his face.

* * *

Levi sat sipping his coffee and patiently waited for Petra to show. At least, he was patient on the outside. His insides were humming with nervous anticipation. What if she came and told him she'd had an amazing time as she'd said, but she didn't want anymore out of it? That she just felt a polite obligation to say it to his face?

For the millionth time since he told Erwin on the ride home, he contemplated bolting on the situation.

Who needed this kind of drama? If they ended up trying this out was he going to end up with a relationship full of tricks and lies, of getting the run around? That was not something he needed in his life.

Glancing around the coffee house, he tried to reason it out. Maybe things were genuine and she had somehow forgotten to mention her other job.

On the other hand, maybe she was being polite about it because of Günter? Or was she coming because she really did want to see him again?

Ugh, he could drive himself mad going over the different scenarios. He tried to dispel all thoughts and focus on one thing: waiting to see her actually walk through the door.

If she didn't show, that was that, goodbye. He didn't care how he felt about her, he wasn't about to be played and let down. If people wanted to be there for you, they'd be there. If not...well it didn't matter how much of a history you had. They were simply gone from your life. He knew that experience all too well.

Swirling the bottom of his coffee to blend the escapee granules, he felt a familiar bitter prickle down his throat to his stomach. He would not think about that now. If he was already putting these dark thought on things with Petra, a girl with whom he'd really had very little encounters with in reality, he might possibly be as hurt as Erwin and Hanji were always saying.

Well, it wasn't his problem anymore. She'd made her choice all those years ago...

Levi realised he was holding his cup halfway to his mouth, staring into its contents. He slapped it back to its saucer, running his hands roughly over his face.

This was a bad idea. He should go, this was becoming way too complicated in his head.

He was about to stand up and yank his jacket off the back of the chair when a golden smudge caught his eye through the steamed up window. His chest gave a clench, his eyes narrowing as he saw the blur of distorted colours reach the door.

Then she came into his focus, shaking rain from her hair and brushing her boots over the door mat. Golden eyes looked up from under thick lashes, scanning the cafe with a slight crease in her brow and hidden teeth tugging unconsciously at her lower lip.

They skipped over faces until they found his, something like relief and happiness lighting them up. A small smile crossed her lusciously pink lips and he knew there and then he'd made the right choice.

She raised her hand slightly in greeting and started winding through tables, across to the booth beside the fake bamboo tree he'd chosen.

O _k. So she's here. Now what?_

As she got closer, he realised he had to greet her. What the hell did he do?

Get up and pull out the chair for her? No, way too formal.

Maybe just give her a kiss on the cheek, the way he always saw Hanji do with people she knew?

He was saved the trouble of deciding as when she got to the table, ever relaxed and composed, she merely smiled and shrugged off her damp coat before sliding into her seat.

She wore a simple oversized cream knit jumper over legging type things and ankle boots, but Levi thought she looked as beautiful as when she was dolled up. She was effortlessly gorgeous and he wondered again how he'd come across such a creature?

"Hey, Levi," she smiled across at him. He was surprised to note a hint of nervousness in her expression and the way she was clenching her hands together on the table.

"Hey," he gave a small smile, one that acknowledged the situation.

"Thanks for coming. I know you were off today, so sorry for interrupting," she grimaced, before looking nervous again.

She cleared her throat, licking her lips and glancing at her hands.

"I guess I have some apologising to do," she glanced back up quickly, a serious expression now clouding her face. "This morning, I just-"

She was interrupted by the arrival of a bouncy stepped waitress, dark hair pulled back into a voluminous ponytail.

"Hey, guys, can I get you anything this afternoon? Today's special is especially mouthwatering; a Belgian chocolate cake with a salted caramel molten centre that comes half price with our Brownie Bamboo Cappuccino, which has a topping of fresh cream and truffle curls. Can I tempt you?" She smiled deviously.

"No thanks, Sasha. Just a mocha please," Petra smiled amusedly at the girl who looked crestfallen.

"Petra, you're seriously missing out. If you keep getting the same thing, how are you going to know if you like other things?" Sasha demanded, hands on hips.

"I know what I like," Petra replied glancing up directly at Levi.

Levi sat back slightly, completely taken aback at her plain as day admittance. She kept on surprising him.

"Ok _aaaay_ , but I still think you should try it. You can take the calories, if that's what you're worried about?"

With a sigh, she left at Petra's gentle rejection of the offer, Levi also turning down her top up offer.

"Sorry. She's a major foodie," Petra laughed. "Anyway... Look," she leant forward again, not phased by the interruption, "I know I gave you the most ultimately lame lines this morning, but please believe me when I say that they were totally unintentional. I am such a disaster in the morning and when I saw how late I was... Trust me when I say there were no intelligible thoughts in my head."

Levi sat, letting that sink in. Straight and to the point: he appreciated that.

"...Levi? Are...you going to say anything?" Petra was looking at him with a worried frown. He realised he was still spaced out thinking of how to respond.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a morning job?" He asked, the lack of explanation unnecessarily frustrating him.

"I thought I had. It's not like I was hiding it from you. I mean, a) we've only actually talked a few times and b) I'm not moonlighting as a prostitute or a serial killer," she teased with an easy grin.

"I know. I guess I just didn't know what to think. I thought you were bailing," he frowned.

"No. I definitely wasn't, not on purpose," she reached across for his hand, almost without thinking.

He turned his hand over, looking down at her delicate one resting on his rough palm. They were so different, yet they fit so perfectly into each other. Like they were meant to be together.

With a completely unsurprising realisation, Levi knew that he always wanted to look down and see their hands like this.

He always wanted them to be together, as premature of a reaction as that may be. It just felt too natural, too perfect with her.

There was just one thing that could prevent that and he needed to know once and for all, for his peace of mind.

"Petra. I just need to know one thing," he spoke softly, turning his gaze back to hers. "What do you want? Was last night just a hook up for you? Or do you want more? I don't mean to put pressure on you, this has been so brief and fast... But I need to know. It's driving me crazy. What are you thinking?"

Petra went quiet for a moment, her gaze thoughtful and serious.

"You're right. This has been a total whirlwind. And I know we've only talked a few times, but I feel like I really know you. And like you know me, all of me, not just what everyone else sees. Last night was impulsive, yes, but you have to know," she leant forward, both hands now grasping his, the rest of the cafe a background oblivion. "I don't just go home with guys. I mean, I've had a boyfriend or two, but you are the only man I've ever felt like this with before," she insisted softly, her eyes shining out nothing but truth and passionate sincerity.

Levi felt a surge of emotion, strong and foreign, stir from deep within him. She'd awakened something, something so pure and fierce that it almost scared him. Almost.

Instead, he just wanted to wrap her up his arms and never let go.

"So, to answer your question... I want to be with you Levi. Because it seems wrong not to be. I'm sorry if it's forward and it's ok if it's not what you want. But it's how I feel. And I'm not going to hide it," she finished.

Her heart was trembling, her head was slightly spinning at the bare honesty she'd just blurted out. She couldn't believe she'd just said all that.

At the same time, it was what she felt and it didn't seem to be going away, just getting stronger.

Besides, he'd asked!

"Good. I don't you want to hide it. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. Because I want to be with you, too, Petra."

A smile took over Petra's face, and she was about to reply when Sasha once again interrupted.

"Here you go: a mocha. No curls, no molten centre. Just cream," she sighed as she slid the beverage in front of her. "You're seriously missing out...and I can tell I've interrupted."

An amused, knowing expression replaced the disappointed one as Sasha spied their hands entwined.

"I'll just... Leave you to it," she grinned, backing away.

Petra gave a laugh, gently pulling away to sit back properly. The two had unknowingly craned forward, creating their own little corner. Picking up her spoon, Petra gave the rich, chocolate-coffee drink a swirl, cream melting into its contents.

Without looking up at him, she picked up her glass and held it to her mouth.

"So, what are you thinking, Levi?"

"That now all our cards are on the table... We both want more. Which leads me to one conclusion," his deep voice dropped low and Petra felt herself lean towards him slightly.

"It would seem I need to take you on actual date."

His onyx eyes gave nothing away, but Petra could tell he was enjoying this.

"Oh really? And where would that happen?" She played along, nonchalantly pouring a splash of milk into her coffee.

"Well, it would have to be somewhere nice I suppose. Good impression and all, you know," he frowned at her.

Petra couldn't help laughing at the über serious expression on his face.

"That's not something you need to worry about," she assured him.

"Trust me."

* * *

After they'd caved and had more coffee (still not the chocolate masses Sasha was trying to sell them, much to her disappointment), Levi and Petra had organised their first official date for that Thursday evening. Levi would be off the next day and Petra told him she didn't mind being out late - cue her flushing cheeks.

She still couldn't believe how easy it had all been, even after their understanding. Maybe things were just that simple when it was with the right person?

With Levi holding the door open for her, the two exited the coffee shop, cold, damp air hitting them, a sharp contrast to the heavy heat of the cafe.

"So, I guess I'll see you Thursday then?" Petra asked, pulling a piece of wind blown hair out of her face. A length of her scarf was trailing behind her shoulder and Levi leant towards her, trailing it back over her chest, fingers trailing against her jaw as he did so. That earned him a small smile from her, her skin left tingling from his bare touch.

Petra wanted him to pull her in by the scarf and kiss her, like something from a novel but he let go. Probably due to the cafe full of people with a great window view.

"Yeah, Thursday. I'll pick you up around half eight," he confirmed.

"Ok... Well, I'll see you then," she gave a small wave as she turned, heading the opposite direction to himself. She could feel his gaze still on her as she walked away and she found herself thinking that everything went so well, you're going out Thursday... To hell with their audience. They probably wouldn't even notice.

Turning on her heel, she walked back to him with purpose. He had just turned away, only a step or two away from the door when she called his name. He turned back, raising an eyebrow in question.

She didn't say anything, just strode right up to him and, gripping his collar, sealed her lips across his.

She felt him hesitate for a split second before placing his hands on her back and cheek.

He manoeuvred his lips so his head was tilted the opposite side, never breaking the kiss. Petra shifted her body closer to his, her hands flush on his chest now. It was a delicate pull of a kiss, not wild and passionate, but sweet and perfect. When they broke apart he looked down at her with an amused expression.

"Sorry. I just couldn't resist," Petra straightened the front of his jacket.

Levi was about to respond when movement caught their eye. Several customers were pointing and whispering or chuckling at them through the window.

"Well, dinner and a show, I guess," Levi shrugged, before turning his attention back to her. "So, anything else to add before we go?" He asked with a cheeky expression.

With a grin, Petra turned once more and strolled away.

"Nope. Nothing I can think of," she said, walking backwards for a few paces. "See you Thursday, Levi."

With a wicked grin, she spun and disappeared around the corner.

* * *

 **Ok, so that's Chapter Two. Again, more fluff than anything, but it's going somewhere. Looking forward to writing it! :) so what did you think? Any thoughts?**

 **Oh and I apologise for the lack of proper breaks between paragraphs in my other stories! Don't know why it keeps happening, I can't put in this line things on the proper place on the iPad! :/ sorry!**

 **God bless! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, chapter three just wrote itself! Ok, finally getting into the deeper stuff here! We're learning about Levi and his demons in this one, getting a bit of sense of why he's so untrusting and suspicious... Hope the characters aren't slipping from their true selves, gets a bit harder as you keep writing, have to keep going back and watching clips of AOT (the horror... Not!) anyway, usual disclaimer etc... Hope you like it :)**

Chapter Three

It was the morning after their first date, and things had gone well, to say the least. This time, alcohol or impulsiveness couldn't be blamed, nor the reason, for Petra ending up in his bed yet again.

Still, Levi couldn't help feeling nervous apprehension as he woke up. Keeping his eyes closed, he wondered if she was still there.

He couldn't help himself, he wasn't used to these situations and his hurt ego had automatically jumped there, no permission sought.

With a heavy heart, Levi realised he couldn't feel the warmth of another body pressed next to him. He couldn't believe it. Had it seriously happened again?

Forcing himself to face the truth, he cracked open his eyelids, wondering whether Erwin was up for another lethal training session.

With a happy shock, he realised that instead of an empty bed, a sleeping beauty was accompanying him.

Caramel locks were strewn across her peaceful face, one hand delicately tucked under the pillow. She was lying precariously on the edge of his bed, the reason Levi hadn't felt her body next to him.

Well, he clearly had no read on this girl. The morning he expected her there - gone. The morning he expected her gone and here she was, tucked up under his duvet.

A lazy grin broke across his face and he couldn't help reach out to tenderly brush the strands of hair from her face. He trailed his finger gently over her temple after moving the last lock.

With a gentle inhale, Petra groggily opened her eyes, revealing sunlight on crystal lakes.

Focusing on him, she gave him a look no-one had ever given him before. It was a look so full of happiness and peace, and something deeper.

"Morning," she whispered with a smile, moving her other hand to rest under her cheek.

"Morning," he said back, drinking in her adorably sleepy expression. He could get used to waking up to her face beside him. The sunlight was hazily filling the room behind her, meaning it must be late enough. Glancing at his clock behind her, he lurched upright, realising with a jolt she was dead late, yet again.

"Petra, you're late! Your class started ten minutes ago," Levi threw off the blanket, ready to rush her home and on to class.

With a chuckle, he felt Petra's hand on his chest, gently pushing him back to lay on the bed.

"Levi, it's ok! Relax, I decided to skip today," she assured him, leaning on an elbow to lay slightly above where he'd sunk under the covers again.

"What about class? Aren't you going to miss out on notes?" He frowned up at her.

"I text Günter and asked him to photocopy his and take any extra notes. He was more than happy," she chuckled again."I think he's happy to have successfully played matchmaker."

"Why'd you skip?" He asked curiously.

"So I could stay in bed with you longer," she softly breathed, leaning down to kiss him. He smiled into her lips.

"I have no problems with that," he said when she pulled back.

"Hmm, I somehow doubted you would," she raised her eyebrow before kissing him again, longer this time, her hand trailing across his bare chest. His hands wound around her body, tracing along the top of her thigh and spine. She was laying half across him, bare skin pleasurably chaffing across his.

Looking for more grip, he expertly flipped her, draping his body across hers instead. She gave a gasp and grinned that wicked grin that gave away her cheeky side.

"I think I should skip class more often. _Much_ more appealing than physiology," she informed him.

"Well, we could always go over biology. One of my better topics," he played along, kissing her collar bone.

"Sounds good to me. Maybe I can even teach you a few things?"

Pushing himself up on his hands, he looked down at her, watching her bite her lower lip.

"You really are a mystery," he shook his head. "Alright then. Let's see what you've got."

"Levi. You've no idea."

That morning was just the start of their beautiful relationship.

 **Five months later...**

The flames hissed and crackled as they were smothered by the jet of water that Levi and Mike aimed on it. Smoke billowed around them, soot and embers dancing among the mayhem.

Levi manoeuvred the nozzle, pointing at the rest of the potential fuel sources beside the dying flames. Sweat trickled down his face and back, mixing with the dirt already coated on his skin.

After a couple more minutes, he gave Mike a nod over his shoulder, who in turn, turned to give Aurou the all clear signal. Feeling the pressure reduce on the hose, Levi surveyed the scene, seeing what else needed attending to.

Hanji was over by the ambulances, helping the paramedics see to the tenants of the boarding house.

The newer recruits, Eren and Mikasa, were tending to the other side of the house with some others, bickering about something Levi couldn't care less about.

Leaving the hose to Mike with a clap on the back, he went over to Erwin, who was standing directing everything and everyone by his Chief's squad jeep.

"So? Nearly done you think?" Levi leant on the hood beside him without looking at him, pulling off his heavy duty gloves.

"You eager to get home? A certain physiotherapist in training waiting for you back at your place?" Erwin teased in his deep voice. Levi snorted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, I'm hoping we have to stay on this call all night so I can listen to Twiddle Dee and Dum over there argue like a married couple," he nodded at the rookies, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"They are unbearable sometimes. But they're coming along. Lots of promise," Ewrin nodded. "And to answer your question, yes we're nearly finished up. Fires out. I've sent in Günter and Jean to head up the rest of the guys to do a walk through, make sure we didn't miss anything and determine the fire source. Shouldn't be too long. Will you go help Hanji, see what info you guys can get out of any of the tenants?" He glanced over at his friend, who merely gave a nod and headed over to the ambulances without a word.

"Four eyes, what've you got?" Levi asked in a bored tone, approaching her as she was finished talking to a victim of the fire.

"Yo, short stuff. No one seems too sure on what happened, but Mrs. Carver over there thinks it was 4b. Apparently she booked them in a couple nights ago and they've been 'difficult'. Thinks it was a bit of tom foolery gone wrong. Any word yet?" She casually leant on the side of one the ambulances, pushing her glasses back up her nose with her pen.

Levi glanced over at the middle aged, plump woman, hair a frizzy mass and a heavy woollen jumper, that was Mrs. Adel Carver, and gave a sigh.

"Of course she does. It's never just an accident or faulty wiring. Look at her, she probably lives for this kind of drama," he shook his head, too tired for this nonsense now.

"Brr, Levi! Her house and business was just on _fire_. Show some compassion, for goodness sake, man," Hanji slapped his arm, still hardly able to believe how cut off he could be sometimes.

"Well, it's true, none the less. Half of our calls could easily have been prevented most of the time. Anyway, look, I want to get back ASAP. So, who's left to interview?" He wearily asked.

"Umm, just... Gina Retford and Susan Kent. You want to take Mrs. Kent, I'll take Ms. Retford?"

Without bothering to wait for a sarcastic or lacking response, Hanji headed over to her victim, whom she figured would just piss off Levi when he was this cranky. He was amazing at his job, but his human interaction left much to be desired!

"Ms. Retford, my name in Hanji Zöe. I was just wondering if I could ask you a few questions about the fire?" Hanji smiled at the young woman, who in return snorted with scathing laughter.

" _Ms. Retford_? What am I, a teacher or something? My name's Gina," she gave her a critical, slow once over, as she answered, chewing gum, several piercings and tattoos covering her body.

Yeah, definitely a good idea to give Levi Mrs. Kent.

"Very well. Gina. Did you see or hear anything unusual this afternoon?"

"Well, Mrs. Carvers dog wouldn't shut up, for one thing. And then, right as I was going out for a cigarette, I realised someone stole my lighter. My last boyfriend gave me that! It was probably that guy who was staying in 3d. Hey! You don't think he stole my lighter to frame me, do you?" She asked eyes lighting up. "Coz Im not taking that sh-"

"Ms... Gina. What would make you think he would want to burn down the building and frame you?" Hanji asked, taking an inwards sigh. There was always one pointing the ludicrous finger of blame.

"Well there was this one time, I asked him could I borrow..."

Hanji was distracted by a voice calling out to someone.

"Levi? Levi Ackerman, is that you?"

Her fellow firefighter turned at his name, searching the crowd with a slight frown until he found the owner of the voice. His reaction was not one Hanji expected.

His face paled in a half second, his shoulders jammed with tension and she could nearly hear the pen crunch in his vice like grip.

Following his line of view, Hanji found the person that caused such a reaction. She'd never seen him before, he was around Levi's age, late twenties or so, with a close shaved head and coffee coloured skin. He wore an easy going smile, making her twice as confused at Levi, who was still concreted to the spot.

"Levi! It's Malik," the man called easily across the clearing.

Finally moving his rigid legs, Levi made his way slowly across to the ambulance Malik was sitting in. Hanji couldn't hear anything once Levi went over within earshot of the man.

"So, it's pretty clear, he wanted to frame me coz I wouldn't sleep with him after borrowing it!"

"I'm sorry? What?" Hanji's attention was ripped back to her interviewee, the last sentence catching her attention.

"Exactly what I just said! My gosh, weren't you listening?" Gazing around the crowd, still chewing her gum, Gina was clearly finished her tale.

"Ok, well thank you for your input, Ms. Retford. I'll get back to you once the source has been determined," Hanji smiled politely, before turning on her heel and heading over to Erwin.

"Hey, beautiful," he said without looking up from his report in his hand. "How's canvassing going?"

"Hey. Well, usual blame being pointed at others, but as far as I could tell, nothing with any solid proof. Mind you, I'll leave _that_ to the police," she leant her elbows on the hood, opposite the side of her boyfriend so they were facing each other.

"Hey, Erwin, who is that Levi's talking to?"

Erwin lifted his gaze and followed her finger to where Levi was standing, still stiff as a board, talking to the mystery guy.

"Hmm, can't really tell from here," Erwin craned to try see around Levi a bit. "Did you catch a name?"

"Yeah, Malik. Seemed happy enough to see our wound up colleague."

"Wait. Did you say Malik?" Erwin's head snapped back to look at her before staring back at the two figures. "Well, well. It's been years since I've seen that guy. Not since..." Erwin suddenly seemed to realise he was talking aloud and closed his mouth, looking back to his report and blue prints with a grim expression.

"Since what, Erwin? Come on, it's me. Levi's probably already told me, I just don't know how this Malik guy ties in," Hanji reasoned.

Looking like he was struggling with the decision, Ewrin sighed, turned to check Levi was still over by the ambulance, and leant forward across the hood.

"Remember Levi's friends, Farlan and Isabel?" He whispered to Hanji.

"Yeah, the two who were in the... Oh, crap!" It was Hanji's turn to stare over at the two men, who now seemed to be saying goodbyes.

Levi, clearly reluctantly, took Malik's offered hand and shook it briefly before turning away. He slowly strode back to Mrs. Kent, who was now being helped down from the ambulance.

"Exactly. Far as I can remember Malik was a close friend of Farlans," Erwin started rolling up the papers, turning to look over his shoulder.

"Look, Hanji, we shouldn't be talking about this, especially not here, ok?" He said gently.

"Yeah. Right, of course. Well, I'll go check in with the rookies," Hanji said distractedly, placing a quick kiss on Ewrin's cheek as she passed. He gave her arm a squeeze before they got back to work.

Glancing over at his oldest friend, Erwin could see the distracted, agitated poise Levi now held. Man, of all the people in the whole city, what were the chances he'd run into an old acquaintance like that? Especially one who led to bad memories. Erwin was about to head over and check in with him, but thought better of it. If he thought Hanji had come over here asking questions, he'd be pissed.

No, he'd let Levi come to him if he wanted. More than likely though, he'd just want to get home, back to Petra.

Erwin wondered if he'd even told her about that part of his past. He highly doubted it. He was crazy about the girl, that was obvious, but even still... Levi wasn't one to willingly share information or feelings. Which wasn't healthy, but Erwin knew better than to push it.

Well, the ball was in his oblivious court. If he really needed to talk, he'd tell someone, he hoped.

With a sigh, Erwin clicked on his radio and signalled for his team to report back. The only thing he could do right now was his job. As he worked though, he couldn't totally push it from his mind.

Smoke and ash floated down to accompany the worry that now settled on his shoulders and Erwin knew one would be easier to remove than the other.

Finally, home, Levi sighed to himself. He parked up his car, turning off the lights and engine before sitting for a few seconds in the quiet dark.

He was still cursing himself; for what, he didn't know. He had no power over what had happened, but he sure as hell wasn't happy about it.

Malik Scott. Of all people.

He could barely believe his eyes when he saw who had called him. He'd felt his body go numb and oddly cold at the same time. Making conversation, while both men politely and awkwardly avoided the obvious taboo topic, had been painful. He almost wanted to dive into the smoke without his mask, take his chances there instead.

He had escaped as soon as he could, making the excuse he had to go talk to Mrs. Kent now she was finished with her check up.

Hanji clearly knew something was up, she kept glancing at him when she thought he wasn't looking. At least she didn't ask. He'd been hoping she hadn't been able to hear anything.

The last thing he wanted was to hash out the details with his a centric friend.

Glancing up at his small townhouse, he saw the sitting room light was on, glowing out to beckon him inside. He could imagine Petra waiting, either studying or watching tv, the smile she always gave him on his return home lighting up her face. Deciding that he'd rather be up there with her than down here with his demons, he opened the door and slid out of his car.

When he opened the door into the sitting room, he looked across to find a heap of papers on the dining table, scattered everywhere.

There, under the middle of it all, was Petra, a page hiding her face. With a soft laugh, he threw his jacket, keys and bag of his dirty work clothes onto the couch under the stairs. He walked quietly over to his girlfriend, gently plucking the page from her face. Her lids were closed, eyelashes fluttering against her lower lids as she dreamed. Knowing her, she'd probably got frustrated, lay on the table and hid her face with the page before promptly falling asleep.

With her cover removed, she blinked awake, licked her lips to wet them and looked around in confusion.

Yawning, she made a face at him, confirming things were not going well.

"I'll make you some coffee," he told her, kissing her cheek before heading to the kitchen.

As he filled the kettle, his thoughts drifted back to earlier and on to even more unbidden thoughts.

The last time he'd seen Malik, or anyone from that circle was... Was Farlan's funeral. There had been a lot of funeral-like events that week, but that was the last of them... Well, that he could stomach. After that, he'd dove into work, hiding himself from everything and everyone.

The click of the kettle brought him back to the present, and he busied himself with making two cups of coffee.

He was stirring the milk and coffee granules when he heard Petra tread softly in.

"Levi," she simply said. He turned and she tucked herself against his chest, seeking comfort in the arms of her boyfriend. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her hair.

"Works hard," she groaned into his shoulder. He chuckled and nodded against her head.

"I know gorgeous, I know. But think of what your work will achieve," he encouraged her. "Your own clinic someday, helping people with their problems? Isn't it worth it for a little more work?"

"It's a lot more work... And I don't think I can do it. What if I don't pass, or I'm just terrible and can't help anyone?" She panicked, her genuine worry laced through her words.

Levi pulled back slightly, looking as stern, yet loving as possible.

"Petra Ral. If anyone can help people in need, it's you, ok? You are the most generous, big hearted person I've ever met and you're amazing at whatever you put your mind to," he finished, and he noticed a sliver of tears form in the bottom of her eyes.

"Really? You're not just saying that because you know I'll be very nice to you for such compliments?" She smiled a little pout at him.

"Cross my heart," he kissed her. "You were made to help others and people love you. And you put in so much work, there's no way you'll fail. I'm not just saying it. Besides, you know you'll be good to me anyway. Who else will bring you coffee?" He smirked and gave her a tickle to make her release him before turning to pour water into the mugs. He felt her come up behind him and slip her arms around his waist, kissing his back through his t shirt.

"Sorry. I have to stop freaking out... It's just such a tough course. Ugh, anyway, how was work?" She asked as he turned to hand her her favourite mug, the 'perfect hand shaped mug' she claimed.

Levi felt his shoulders clench again and tried to hide the nerve in his jaw jump by turning to grab his mug.

"Ah..fine. Usual. Two fires and a three car pile up," he casually said before heading to the sitting room.

She trailed after him, sitting back at the table while he sank into the couch. When she didn't respond, he glanced up at her over his mug, the rich liquid burning his tongue slightly as he tried to keep himself busy. She was watching him with a frown on her face, one knee pulled up to her chest.

"What?" He asked casually, reflecting his attention to turning on the TV, which now took an unnecessary amount of focus, apparently.

"Levi, what's wrong?" She asked quietly.

Damn, she knew him too well. He frowned and looked at her as if she was imaging things.

"Nothing. Just a long day that's all. I'm tired," he shrugged it off. Please, drop it, he begged her internally.

Knowing him as she did, she actually did drop it, but he noticed her giving him the same sideways glance every now and then that Hanji had.

Eventually, though, she became re-immersed in her work and he tuned out watching some random comedy show. He didn't really care what he had on, just something to wipe his mind clear.

After a while though, he got fed up of the wildy unfunny jokes and switched the tv off, rubbing his hands over his face. He looked at Petra, who was raising an eyebrow at her book, turning to scribble things in her notebook. She looked adorable, her hair tucked behind her ears, wearing one of his hoodies over her leggings. Not that he was much taller than her - his hoody was barely baggy on her, only that she had such a slight frame, he noticed much to his chagrin. Still, he loved seeing her in it.

"Petra, why don't you finish up for tonight? You've been at it for hours," he yawned, tired just watching her brain run this late at night.

"Ahh... Two minutes..." she said distractedly, flicking forward, then back a page. Levi waited patiently, closing his eyes and laying his head back on the couch. Next thing he knew, it was Petra's turn to wake _him_. With a gentle shake on his shoulder, he woke with a start, leaving behind dreams of dark times.

"Hey, come on. Let's go to bed," she whispered, holding out her hand to pull him up. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was nearly an hour since her two minutes. He gave her an amused look and she gave him a sheepish one back.

"Sorry. I wanted to finish that chapter," she pushed him up the stairs, his legs stiff from sitting down after being constantly on the go all day.

As they drifted off to sleep, Petra gently snuggled beside his chest where he liked to keep her close, he thought about how quickly they'd fallen into their routine.

Only about two months after they'd properly started dating. she'd basically moved in. She had apologised once for always invading his space, but he'd stopped her, telling her he preferred coming back to her than any empty house.

Since then, he'd slowly nudged her towards moving in, majorly to his surprise. He would never have thought he, of all people, would be encouraging someone to share his living space.

Yet, here he was, living with Petra. He'd found when she wasn't there he'd look for an excuse to go see her, or for her to come to him. She put him at ease and he needed that. Not that he'd ever tell anyone.

He'd changed, he guessed, over the years. Maybe seeing all those lives and families ripped apart at work had slapped some sense into him. Between that and the accident...

Growling under his breath, Levi wondered how the hell that had come back into his mind? Could he not have a minutes peace?

Feeling the twitch of uneasiness creep up his spine, he knew he wouldn't sleep.

Carefully detaching from the soundly asleep Petra, he headed back downstairs, padding bare footed across the kitchen tiles.

Getting a drink of cold water, he went back into the sitting room and stood against the arch.

No matter what he did, he couldn't stop thinking about them. Isabel and Farlan were plaguing his thoughts. Looking at the bookcase, he went over and pulled a worn, leather bound book from the contents. Flipping open the cover of the photo album, he rifled through the empty pages.

So many holes in his life. No moments worth remembering or grasping too.

Except for one.

At the back, hidden between the filmy paper and back page, was a single picture.

Three teenagers, all ragged and full of mischief. The girl had unruly brown red hair, sticking up in every direction and wild blue eyes. Her arms were draped across two boys shoulders.

The sandy blonde boy had a satisfied, easy going smile, leaning into the middle to be closer in the picture. The last teen, a stern faced boy with ragged black hair that was shaved underneath, was scowling at the camera. His arms were crossed and he looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.

Yet, Levi knew younger him had, in fact, been happy to be there. It had been a day of exploring, the three venturing further out of the town limits than they'd dared before. They'd found an old warehouse, abandoned and cavernous. Deciding this was their new HQ, Levi had set them all jobs cleaning up the place the best they could.

Farlan had set to, as usual just happy to be with his friends.

Isabel, however, was moaning that she just wanted to play, that so what the place was filthy and crawling with millions of bacteria? When Levi had told her that she was only there because the boys let her hang with them, she kept moaning but started clearing out an old office. Twenty minutes later, the boys had finished their tasks, but there was no sign of their tag along.

Entering the office she'd been cleaning, they found her crouched in the corner, holding something delicately to her chest. It had been a bird, it's wing broken and held at an awkward angle. Isabel was cooing to it in a sickly sweet voice, promising it adventures when it was better.

Levi had argued, yet again that it was probably covered in parasites, that birds usually were. Isabel had retorted that she wasn't asking him to hold it. Farlan had had to step in as ref as normal.

So, after a dispute, clearly one sided, as Farlan couldn't leave the defenceless thing either, it was agreed they'd meet back everyday at their HQ and look after the bird.

They'd left it nestled in a safe corner, old paper and some clean tissue Isabel had snagged off Levi (no way did he want them back after she'd got her grubby hands on them) making a cosy nest for it.

When they'd returned home to their foster home, their foster mum, Laura, had taken a picture of them.

'Thick as thieves', she used to love saying, an amused smile on her face as Isabel excitedly launched into the tales of their adventures, Farlan cheerily adding or correcting details. Levi would chip in if she asked, only because she was the only decent foster parent he'd had.

Looking at the picture now, it felt like that had only happened the other day, yet some details were as void as the rest of the photo album. It seemed like a whole other life...

Snapping closed the leather covers, Levi shoved it back into its hidden space on the shelves.

Would he ever rid himself of this pain, this ghost that followed him ceaselessly?

Or would he forever have to carry the guilt with him?

Collapsing on the couch again, he watched through the window as the still, cold night entertained its visitors; late night workers or party goers, cats and some other wildlife.

Mostly though, it was dreams, nightmares and the unfiltered thoughts of the troubled souls that filled the night air. Just like him and his own waking nightmares.

As the street light hummed and clunked out a flood of yellow light, Levi knew, as often as he sat down here staring as he did, he'd never be free of his demons.

 **Poor Levi.. I can't help torture him, as much as I love him! He's just one of the guys, like poor Derek in Teen Wolf. He always seems to be being tortured!**

 **Ok, that's that chapter! Hopefully four will write as quickly!**

 **Please review or follow, greatly appreciated, as are any PMs. :) I don't bite, I promise!**

 **Til next time!**

 **God bless and happy reading! ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hmmm... I'm a bit iffy about this chapter...Ok, very iffy! :/**

 **I was half asleep writing it and just wanted to get it done so I could move the story along a bit faster. Went** ** _very_** **out of character I'm afraid! Apologies!**

 **Will try get next chapter back into line and them back in character. Just remember, neither have been in a serious relationship before and Levi's not used to having someone not only care about him, but fight for him.**

 **So, their reactions are a shade off character hence the new situation (Well, that's my lazy excuse! :P )**

 **Anyway, still hope you can enjoy it, once I get a chapter done, I pretty much to work ASAP on a new one, so won't be long till chapter five!**

 **Enjoy! ;)**

* * *

Chapter Four

"Here you go, my dear," Hanji sang, passing Petra a bottle of beer.

"Thanks, Hanji. Next rounds on me, ok?" She smiled at her newest friend as she slid into the booth across from her.

"Well, I won't argue there. I need one or two after today's shift. Horrible, a whole family and two men killed in a crash. So many lives ruined," Hanji grimaced, taking a huge swig of her vodka and what looked like a rather small amount of coke.

"Hanji, that's awful! It must make it hard to be a firefighter sometimes because of that, huh?"

Hanji nodded, twirling her glass on the table.

Petra could tell she was upset, she seemed strained in her usual easy going demeanour. Which reminded her...

"Hanji... I know how upsetting your job can be. I'm sorry you had to go through that today. Ah, did anything particularly bad happen a few days ago? Any really nasty calls?" Petra wondered, playing with the label on her bottle.

"Mmm... No more than usual, why?" Hanji shook her head, her dark hair bouncing around her shoulders.

"I noticed when Levi got home one of the nights after work that he seemed upset or something. I asked him, but of course he denied anything was wrong. He just hasn't been himself since," Petra frowned, not sure if she was crossing a line going behind his back like this.

"Oh. I know what you're talking about," Hanji nodded her head, a grim look still crossing her features. She fidgeted uncomfortably and was looking at Petra with a torn expression.

"Look, Petra, you know we're friends. But... This is complicated. I'm not sure if Levi's told you certain things about his past and frankly, it's not my place to tell. I'm really sorry."

"No! Of course I wouldn't put you in that situation. And I wouldn't go behind his back and ask about his past," Petra assured her earnestly. "I've just never seen him so distracted and withdrawn."

Hanji snorted a wild laugh, shaking her head in amusement at her.

"Are you sure you're talking about Levi?" She teased.

Petra laughed ruefully, understating her friends point.

"I know, it's Levi. But, even still," she sobered up, her worry refusing to let up, "He's never been this bad before. I keep catching him miles away and when I snap him back he always goes quiet. I... I don't know what to do."

She looked down at her hands helplessly, her voice quiet with worry.

Seeing how upset Petra was, Hanji felt her heart go out to her. Levi wasn't the easiest to get on with, but they seemed like the perfect match for each other.

To see them struggle worried her. She didn't know how well Levi would react to any bumps in the road, especially one concerning his own history.

"Well, the only advice I can give you is to be honest with him. He may deny everything, or even get angry, but he needs to know he has people who care and are there for him. I worry about him too. Keeping things in isn't good for the body. Stress leads to ulcers," Hanji informed her, her dark eyes shining as they did when her brain started churning out facts.

"So... You're saying to just confront him, despite the possible outcome?" She bit her lip at the suggestion.

"It's up to you, my dear. You, and probably Erwin, know him best," she shrugged apologetically.

"This is your choice."

* * *

Throughout college all the next day, Petra mulled over Hanji's advice.

Should she ask him, or drop it and let time heal whatever wound that had clearly reopened?

Hanji's reluctance to, as she'd said, talk about his past had made it obvious this was something he'd been struggling with for a while.

She didn't want to be interfering or overbearing, but she was worried sick.

He was reserved and quick tempered these past few days and Petra had no clue how to deal with it aimed at her.

Not that he was lashing out at her, just more irritable and grumpy. He'd also increased the amount of curse words he used, his sentences peppered with them when he was really bad.

The question was, if she confronted him and he reacted badly, would he become worse?

Levi was a delicate operation when complex emotions were involved. She just hoped she was up to the job.

"Petra! Hello, are you in there?" Eld was waving a hand in her face and she realised that he and Günter were standing, bags on backs, ready to head for lunch.

"Yeah, sorry," she mumbled, hastily packing away her things. She trailed out of the room behind her two friends, their easy banter soothing her slightly.

Maybe she should ask them? Günter did know Levi, too. Perhaps he'd have helpful insight.

They were standing in line for the stir fry bar, when the two boys turned to her again.

"Ok, Petra, what is going on? You've been miles away all day," Günter's rumbling voice asked. She glanced between the blonde and brunette, tossing a mental coin.

 _Tell them? Don't tell them?_

Realising this was weighing too heavily on her conscience, she finally decided.

 _Tell them._

"I have a problem," she admitted, making a face.

After exchanging a knowing look, they promised that she could confide in them and they'd keep any secrets she wanted them to.

With great appreciation, she unloaded her worries on them, feeling a ton come off her chest at just opening up to her friends.

Sure, she'd told Hanji, but Eld and Günter knew her better.

"Now, I don't know what to do. I just hope I'm not making too big a deal out of nothing," she finished, picking through her noodles and vegetables.

"No, it's not just you. I've noticed he's been off, too," Günter agreed, thinking back through the last week. Levi had been extra irritable and short with them all.

"You did? So I'm not overreacting?" Petra breathed a sigh of relief.

"Definitely not," he shook his head.

"What should I do? What if he gets annoyed and pulls away even more?" She worried at her napkin, tearing little shreds off the edge and twisting them round her finger.

"You should talk to him. I don't know Levi very well, but I know he's crazy about you. I doubt he's going to be cross. Well, not for long. And if he is, I've one word for you: Lingerie," Eld grinned at her, trying to lighten the mood as always.

"Eld," Petra growled at him, but she couldn't help a little smile hijack her stern look.

"Seriously though, if this is bothering you so much, you should do it," he unscrewed his vitamin water and took a swig, not breaking eye contact as she pursed her lips at him in thought.

"So you both think I should do it?" She swapped her gaze back and forth.

It was Günter who gave the deciding advice.

"The real question is this; Will you regret it if you let it go and it turned out he needed to open up?"

Realising he was right, Petra knew what she had to do. She just didn't know if she could.

* * *

She was making dinner when he got in that night, her body tensing when she realised this was it. She'd decided that she would do it tonight. She couldn't put it off.

She heard him stroll into the kitchen, coming up behind her, the scent of smoke and burnt things among many other smells mixing with the tang of the curry she was stirring.

"Hey, gorgeous," he sighed, kissing her neck and resting his chin on her shoulder. "Smells great."

"Hi," she turned slightly to smile in acknowledgement at his gesture, adding a dash of ginger and five spice to the mild curry. "How was work?"

He slipped his arms from her waist, yawning as he took a glass from the cupboard to get a drink of water.

"Exhausting. The alarm never stopped today. I swear, it was nearly two or three shifts worth of fires in one day."

He gulped down the water, slouching against the counter across from her.

He waited for her to start chatting, her usual easy going catch up a soothing balm after a day of intensity and adrenaline.

Instead, she remained uncharacteristically quiet, her shoulders tense.

"Petra, what's wrong?" He frowned, wondering what had upset her.

"Actually, that's what I'm wondering," she sighed, setting down the spoon and turning to face him. He was surprised by the worried and tense expression she wore, her hands gripping the edge of the counter behind her.

"What's that mean?" He asked slowly, not remotely aware of where she was headed with this.

"Levi, you've been acting so strange the last few days. Ever since that late night shift. I tried to let it pass, but you're so tense and withdrawn and irritable. Just... Off," she gestured helplessly, shifting on her feet.

Levi felt a tug of panic. She was asking about the after affects of his conversation with Malik. He'd tried to brush it all off, to subdue it again, but he'd failed to stop thinking about it.

He was seeing Isabel and Farlan in everything he did now, after years of suppressing it. He just hadn't realised it was showing to others.

Now Petra was calling him out, but he knew he couldn't do that. It was his scar and one he never intended to bare to the world again, especially not the girl he was trying not to mess up with.

So, instead of opening up, he went on the defensive.

"Petra, I've no idea what you are talking about. I'm tired, that's all," he frowned, setting his glass down beside him.

She grimaced and turned to briefly stir the food again before turning back to him.

"Don't try deny it. I know you, Levi, and you're not yourself. And I wouldn't be picking at this, except its getting worse."

Frustration was starting to colour her tone, her golden eyes holding a defiant look.

She wasn't going to back down from it this time.

"Look, just leave it alone Petra. Alright?" He warned, his frown deepening.

"No. Levi, I don't know why you won't trust me. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to help," she swept out a hand, punctuating her words.

"I don't need help. It's nothing. Now seriously, leave it alone," he pushed off from the counter, unbidden images of his lost friends flashing through his mind.

She quickly snapped off the cooker ring before standing blocking his exit.

"You're not doing yourself any favours keeping it in, you know," she relented.

Levi glared at her in annoyance, something he rarely felt towards her.

She was glaring right back, hands on hips and clearly not backing down.

"Petra, stop. It's _nothing_!" He repeated.

"Then why are you getting so cross?" She challenged.

Man, she knew how to get to him.

"I came home looking forward to a nice quiet evening with you, but instead you bombard me with pointless questions. Excuse me for being annoyed. And yes, it is nothing," he snapped as he kept up his defensive act and brushed past her, waves of tension and annoyance rolling off him.

"It's not nothing and I'm not the only one who thinks it. Günter and Hanji are worried, too," she said softly.

Levi stopped dead in his tracks and turned slowly on his heel. There was an angry look in his eyes.

"What did you say?" He asked in a dark tone.

Petra mentally kicked herself for dragging the others into this. Well, too late now.

"I asked them if they noticed anything and they said they had. That was it," she reassured him with annoyance.

"So, let me get this straight? You've been talking about me to them - behind my back?" His eyebrows shot upwards in disbelief.

"Oh, for goodness sake, stop making it so dramatic! As I said, I only asked if they'd noticed you were acting strange, too," Petra waved off his accusatory tone. "Levi, just talk to me! I'm not your enemy, I'm your girlfriend!" She begged, exasperated now.

"Well, you sure aren't acting like it right now," he growled. "I'm going for a shower."

With that parting shot, he disappeared up the stairs, ripping his bag from the floor as he went.

Petra stood for a few seconds before sinking into the couch with a groan.

How the hell had that blown up so quickly in her face? Had she been too intense?

She didn't think so and she also knew she'd anticipated a reaction like this from him.

It actually happening though, was a different story. That was their first fight and it left Petra feeling dirty and ill, a sour feeling pooling in her stomach.

She realised that now she'd poked the bear, maybe she should back off and give him some space to think. Maybe that would do him some good, to have time to think things through, to have a bit of peace?

She hoped so, because if he was going to be this angry, things were going to get worse and fast.

* * *

Hot water cascaded down from the shower, washing the dirt and grime from his shift off him.

He couldn't believe it. What had happened down there?

Petra had been right, of course, but Levi couldn't believe she'd been talking to Four Eyes and Günter about it.

This was what she was feeling, so it was between them.

Well... Not even, he sighed in defeat. He'd thrown it all back on her, typical him not able to just talk to her.

The truth was, he just didn't feel it was something that needed to be shared. He was fine burying it. It had worked for him... Until now.

Now, he'd upset her as much as she had him.

When he finally came down from the shower, he readied himself for a fight. He braced, expecting flashing golden eyes to turn on him as soon as he stepped off the last step.

Instead, he found her sitting at the table, looking deflated and tired.

He felt a pang of guilt. They'd never fought properly before and he hated it, hated seeing her give him that hurt, accusing look he'd received from nearly everyone in his life but her.

Looking up at him now, she sighed before talking.

"I was thinking I should probably stay at my old place tonight. I haven't been back in weeks to see them and I think..." She swallowed, her eyes glancing up and away from his. "I think it'd be a good idea. Maybe we just need to cool down for tonight."

Levi felt thick, cold dread and fear clog his chest and stomach.

She was running away. Just like that.

He felt the cold, familiar pang of abandonment tapping on his shoulder, reminding him _it_ had never left him, despite what it was.

"Fine, do whatever you damn well please," he snapped angrily at her, his pain and anger swelling up as quickly as he fired the words at her. (Well, he'd used worse language, but Petra mentally switched it out for something less severe.)

Scowling, he marched past her and into the kitchen.

It hurt, hearing him talk to her like that. This was exactly what she'd been worried about.

"Levi, I'm not trying to cause a fight or blow this out of proportion. I just want you to know you can talk to me! Get whatever it is off your chest. You know I'm not prying for the sake of it. I'm worried about you and clearly, from your reaction, I'm right to be," she turned in her chair to where he was bracing against a counter.

When he didn't respond, she sighed heavily and stood, heading to the door.

There was no point pushing him, she was never going to make any progress now, only make him angrier. She wanted to be the one to go, not force him to kick her out, even if only for that night.

"Look, I'll come back tomorrow after your shift if you want. I just think you need time to think this through," she said quietly.

Levi turned to see her by the door already, a small bag in her hand.

Panic rocketed through him. She was leaving. She was walking out the door and he was about to let her, all because he couldn't talk to her.

Damn it Levi! Open your trap now, before you screw this up, you miserable coward! He mentally yelled at himself.

She had just opened the door when he slammed it shut again, standing behind her, hand inches from her face.

She turned to give him a questioning look and he felt himself fall into those eyes again.

No, he had to tell her. He would not lose her, she was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time - possibly ever.

"Don't. Don't go," he whispered, looking down into her eyes, all anger gone from him as quickly as it had come. "Petra, I can't open up. I just can't. My past isn't something I'm proud of, so I keep it buried... But I guess," he reached out to stroke her cheek, "If I'm going to get the future I want with you, I need to learn to start."

Tears brimmed in her eyes and next thing he knew, her lips were pressing softly into his, her empty hand on his side.

"Levi, I'm sorry. I didn't want to ambush you. But like I said, I'm worried. And if I let this slide and it turns out you needed me and I was too scared to ask?" She shook her head, her eyes roaming his face lovingly. "I'd never forgive myself for not being there for you."

Levi stood in shocked silence for a few seconds. Well, that was not what he'd expected this fight to end up like at all.

"And I'll never forgive myself for being such a jerk about it," he grimaced. "I'm sorry. I'm just... Not used to having someone so actively fighting in my corner," he admitted.

"I'll always fight in your corner," she whispered, sincerity shining through her whole being.

Levi felt that overwhelming surge of happiness and something like gratitude and fierce protectiveness for her wash over him, the one he always got when she blew him away like this.

He grasped her face in his strong hands and his lips and tongue came crashing down on hers, over and over.

The rawness from the fight and then sudden opposite emotions had built the tension around them, until he thought he was going to buckle under the heated pressure.

He put all the frustration and longing into the kiss, feeling her respond underneath his touch. He pressed her against the door, holding her tight after he'd nearly sent her away.

With a sigh, she broke the kiss once the tension had been sated.

Glancing down, Levi frowned unhappily at the bag still in her hand. He flicked his gaze to hers before taking it from her grasp.

"You won't need this. I'm not letting you go anywhere," he promised.

Petra gave a small laugh before burying her head in his shoulder.

"Umm, are all fights like that? Because... That was sheer madness," she looked up at him and he shrugged.

"I wouldn't know. You're the only girl who's been around long enough and meant this much to be in this situation with me," he admitted.

"I'm sorry, again. But please promise me, you won't hide anything from me that's important. I just want to be able to help you," she gently pushed.

With a sigh, he led her to the kitchen.

"Well, let's finish this abandoned curry. Then," he turned his gaze to her, his worry and inexperience clear in his gaze, "I'll tell you everything."

* * *

 **See what I mean? Ugh, I'm getting too lazy to fix things... Must stop that! :/**

 **Any thoughts? Still hope you could look past the flaws and enjoy! ;)**

 **Until next chapter guys!**

 **God bless**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, hello strangers! I am so sorry it's been so long since I've updated this story. You all have probably gathered how busy/lazy I am by now! :P**

 **Anyway, just so you guys know: I have tried and tried to correct errors and add paragraph lines in the earlier chapters. It. Just. Won't. Let. ME! Sorry! :/**

 **Well, hope you guys enjoy, I'll try to write more ASAP.**

 **Keep those beautiful reviews coming! :)**

 **Enjoy!**

Chapter Five

Once the couple had finished their dinner in a delicate pause, they cleared the table and sat across from each other.

The tension and uneasiness was apparent on Levi's face. He sat gripping a beer bottle, wracking his brain on where and when to start.

He decided, the beginning was probably most logical.

"Ok. You know I don't have any family. They either died or abandoned me: I don't know, don't need to at this stage," he stated in a matter of fact tone.

It broke Petra's heart, to hear him so closed off from his past and possible knowledge of family he could have.

Still, she didn't say anything, knowing this was going to be hard for him and he was doing this for her as much as himself.

No way was she going to be horrible and fussy about it.

"I spent all my childhood either on the street or in homes," he stated, keeping his voice neutral, but a bleak expression betraying him. "When I was about ten or so, I met Farlan. We got on right away. And by that, I mean he was the only kid I didn't want to knock out every time he opened his mouth."

Petra laughed lightly at this, imaging a scrawny, grumpy child-Levi scowling at the other children as they played and carried on. She somehow doubted he played tag, pirates, etc, with the others.

"During the day we'd sneak off and wander around, getting to know the streets like the back of our hands. Got into a lot of trouble, but it was better than sitting idle and rotting away in the homes with the rest of the kids. We got lucky enough that when the time came and we were moved from the house we met in, we got placed in the same foster home."

A softer look briefly came over his face, his hands still idly shredding and wringing the label on his already half empty bottle.

"Laura was the only decent foster parent we ever had. Nice and easy going. She actually cared about us, but also knew we needed a bit of freedom. We were there a year when Isabel came."

"How old were you then?" Petra asked gently when he went silent for a minute.

He glanced up at her, dark irises full of subdued worry, pain and abandonment as he recounted his childhood.

"Ah.. Farlan and I would have been about fourteen, fifteen? Isabel would have been twelve, I think. Anyway, she came in, this wild, annoying young girl. Of course, I tried to avoid her like the plague and of course, she latched onto us," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "She'd follow us everywhere, even managed to sneak out of the neighbourhood behind us. She was sneaky like that," he said softly.

Petra was watching him with a sympathetic, protective warmth blooming in her chest. This isn't going to end well she reminded herself. Otherwise, why would he have been so upset and angry?

"Farlan, of course, took her under his wing. Told me she was just looking for a place to fit in, to be free, like us. Asshole, of course of I was going to let her tag along after that," he shook his head with an amused, annoyed snort. "So, the three of us palled around. 'Thick as thieves', Laura used to love saying to us. And we were, even when we left. We were gone a few years ahead of Isabel. But we stayed in touch, visited her."

"When did you decide you wanted to be a firefighter?" Interrupting felt wrong in this delicate conversation, but she was curious an needed a timeline to keep it all straight in her head.

"I'd always known I wanted a job fighting... Something. But when I saw the way firefighters rushed into danger, face down death... I knew it was for me. Sounds reckless, but I needed to feel a purpose," he shrugged at her, his gaze slightly uncomfortable every time he did.

Facing down death? Rushing into danger?

It sent worried chills up Petra's spine, imagining him wanting to flirt with death like that, at such a young age. It filled her soul with sorrow, that someone could suffer so much from a young age to grow up thinking and feeling like that.

She felt blessed at the happy, easy thoughts from her own childhood, her problems and dilemmas so mundane and unimportant in comparison to Levi's.

"Once I realised it was what I wanted, I did my best to ensure I had a chance. I managed to get in, thanks to Laura and Farlan. And after that, things just took off. I realised it was so much more than adrenalin and danger - that it was life _and_ death. Not for me, but the people who hadn't the choice to be there. Also, that fire was a force of its own. There was so much to learn, so much to do wrong."

Draining the last of his beer, Levi rubbed a thumb across his eyebrow, sighing heavily. He was determined to get through this. He thought he was doing pretty well so far, churning out the most basic truths from his past.

He was fast approaching the heavy stuff though and if it wasn't for the future he wanted sitting across from him, he would have shut off and never said a word again.

Still, there Petra was, quietly supporting and encouraging him. He just had to man up and do it.

"The more I did it, the more I fought fires, the more engrossed I became. It was my obsession, not just my job. Maybe I felt like I was making up for lost time, doing something I actually wanted to do, not just causing trouble.

"Erwin found me and asked me to join his squad once I was finished with my training and got more experience under my belt. I'd been in a small station to start, so getting the chance to transfer to a bigger house was what I'd been hoping for."

"So, were you still in touch with Farlan and Isabel?" Petra asked curiously, wondering how someone as dedicated and determined as Levi would have balanced a social life, too.

"Yeah, we saw each other all the time. Farlan was training to be a lawyer, of all things. I wouldn't have pegged him as tough or determined enough. He was always more of an easy going person.

"Isabel - Well, she was always into her adventures. She'd been travelling around a bit, earning money through odd jobs. Came home pretty frequently, but she was always on the move. She was happy, though, so that was ok.

"After a couple of years of me being on Erwin's team, she moved back and decided she wanted to open her own gym. Don't ask why, it was always impossible to tell how she ended up at the thoughts she spewed out," he huffed, but Petra could tell it was affectionate.

He took on an almost big brother type tone when he talked of her.

"So, that was that and she started working on getting a place and licence, etc. Farlan was nearly finished college and I was settled and happy in my job."

Levi's shoulders suddenly tensed, as though he realised something. Glancing up at her, then immediately away, he stood, chair scraping back across the tiles.

"I need another beer," he muttered, grasping the fridge handle and pulling open the door. Petra gave his back a sympathetic look, knowing he'd hate receiving a 'pitying' look, as he'd no doubt take it but not being able to help herself.

He stood longer than necessary before reaching into the chilled depths of the fridge and pulling another bottle out with a gentle clink against the others. Returning slowly to his seat, he twisted off the lid, never looking at her.

He took a long swig before looking up at her and the look in his eyes floored her. She'd never seen him look so lost and anxious.

"Petra.. I.. The next bit..." He bounced the lid off the table in frustration, huffing another sigh and slouching back in his chair.

Petra leant forward and grasped his hand that was splayed beside the one holding his beer.

"Levi, it's ok. No matter what, just know I'm here for you. You can trust me."

He looked back and forth between her eyes, as if trying to find proof to her words.

Giving a half hearted, corner twitch of a smile, he squeezed her hand and nodded heavily.

"Yeah. I know. Ok, well.. It happened a few years ago. I was supposed to meet up with Isabel and Farlan at the bar after my shift. We hadn't seen each other in a while because I was always working odd shifts, so we were never free at the same time. We were all finally off and going to celebrate Isabel getting the loan and permission for starting her gym," he frowned as he chewed over the rest of the story in his head, really not wanting to go on.

It was like he was diving head first into a black hole, sucking him to emotional depths he never wanted to see.

"Erwin came up to me near the end of my shift, saying there was a massive fire across town and would I stay on and help. I was wrecked and knew they'd be upset, but... It was necessary, it was saving lives. So, I went," another mouthful of beer replaced the bitter words on his tongue.

"I rang them and Isabel was pissed, but I shrugged her off and told her I'd celebrate with her soon. I went and left them."

A haunted look was darkening his face, the whole house seeming to respond to his mood, the atmosphere tense and heavy.

"I got a call halfway through fighting the fire. There was a crash."

Petra felt her blood chill, horrified realisation making her rigid in her seat.

"Seems Isabel was so pissed she insisted on coming to see me, give me a piece of her mind, I'm sure," Levi muttered, jaw tense and a muscle leaping in it. "Only, she'd already had quite a few drinks."

"Oh my gosh," Petra whispered. Drink driving... So reckless, she thought sadly. So Levi's friends..

"No, Farlan wouldn't let her drive," Levi shook his head, knowing what she was automatically thinking. He was sipping more frequently from his bottle now, knuckles white where he grasped it too tight.

"But Isabel was too stubborn to let it go, so he drove them. He'd only had one, he was under the limit. But the roads were wet. They were coming around a dangerous bend and there was a truck coming the other way. It skidded through the corner."

Pausing, Levi could picture the scene, the dark image that would forever haunt his mind and soul. The moment his life changed and he lost his closest friends - his family.

"The police said it wasn't either drivers fault. That the road conditions and the bend just made it lethal. The truck ploughed into the car and smashed it into the railing - totalled it. Farlan was killed instantly."

Tears sprang to Petra's eyes and she closed them tight, hanging her head. It was so awful, not even her own tragedy to live through and yet she could feel the pain, the loss, emanating from her boyfriend.

She looked up to find him looking at her, unshed tears glistening in his own. Petra expected him to get up and leave or to start yelling at her for making him dredge up these awful memories, but he didn't, he continued with the horrific story.

"I got there just as they'd pulled Isabel from the car. She was unconscious and covered in blood. I almost didn't recognise her," he whispered raggedly.

"Erwin had driven me himself. We weren't the main house on the fire, so he wasn't taking lead. We went straight to the Chief on scene. Erwin knew him, graduated with him - Nile Dok.

"I'll always remember his face when he told me the two driver were D.O.A. Told me Isabel was just about to be taken to the emergency room. I insisted they let me go too, to the hospital with her. So they did and I got in the back of the ambulance. They were about to close the doors when I saw... I saw them pull Farlan's body from the wreck. Saw him broken and just... Gone," his voice broke and Petra couldn't help herself.

A line of tears spilled down her cheek, but she quickly wiped them away. She had no right to cry over Levi's pain.

"Sorry," she whispered when he smiled sadly at her motion.

"Don't be," he replied, squeezing her hand briefly.

How could he be so strong and comforting _her_ right now?

"What happened to Isabel?" She dared asked, not wanting to push him but needing to know the girls fate.

"She had to undergo surgery - she'd crushed her spine. They tried to fix her, but.. She was paralysed from the waist down."

Silence once more enveloped the room, Petra hardly able to believe what she was hearing. It was too cruel, too harsh. So much pain for one person to endure.

Something hit Petra, but she was too afraid to ask.

Levi must have read it on her face though, as he softly asked her what she wanted to ask.

"You never talk about her - when's the last time you saw her?"

Glancing into the sitting room, Levi blew out a breath and drained his second bottle.

"I tried to be there for her - I did. But... She blamed me. Said it was my fault, if I hadn't bailed on them..." Bitter resentment filled his voice and face and Petra felt unfair anger rising her at Isabel, a girl she'd never met.

"But.. You told them.. You were saving lives! It wasn't your fault," Petra argued, even thought she was arguing to the innocent party.

Levi gazed at her again for a few seconds, something like weary gratitude now vying for position against self loathing and blame in his storm ridden eyes.

"I let down my friends, I put my wants first. It was my fault," he insisted.

"No, Levi. That's nonsense," Petra angrily interjected. "You were doing your job, you were saving lives! It wasn't your needs you put first at all."

"Well, Isabel didn't see it that way. I tried... Tried to be there. To help her. But she shoved me away, told me I was poison and I'd killed Farlan. That I'd ruined her life and she never wanted to see my face again," Levi dropped his head in his hands and let out a shuddering breath.

He stayed like that and Petra felt her heart thump painfully at the sight and knowledge of the unbearable pain he'd endured.

"Levi.. I don't know what to say. Im so sorry," she whispered, at a complete loss of words once it seemed he wasn't going to say anymore. She hadn't expected this and wasn't prepared.

"It's not your fault," was all he said into his hands.

Shaking her head, she felt awful, her heart heavy and her soul sad.

"I made you relive this, made you share. I had no idea..." She said softly.

Levi slowly looked up and gave her a broken smile.

"How could you? I haven't exactly made it easy for you to know me properly," he said defeatedly.

"Levi," she whispered, placing a hand in her own forehead. "I'm such a terrible person. I shouldn't have pried. I've no right and you shouldn't be coerced into telling me that."

"Petra, look at me," he insisted gently.

She raised her eyes to meet his, guilt wracking her body.

"I'm glad I did. You deserve to know about my past. Because I want you to be my future. So it only makes sense you know," he stated.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, a powerful flood of emotion swelling and sweeping through her.

Getting up from her chair, Petra walked around the table and took hold of Levi's face in her hands.

Knowing words couldn't begin to express what she was feeling right now, she put it into a kiss instead, also knowing he probably wouldn't want to talk anymore.

So, instead she showed her remorse, guilt, her sorrow for him, gratitude and her similar feelings he'd just expressed, all in the joining of their lips.

Swivelling around on his chair, he pulled her onto his lap and held her tight, like a life line, kissing her back fervently.

His hands wound in her hair and she kept hers wrapped around his shoulders.

Pulling her lips from his, Petra rested her forehead against his and just looked into the depths of his eyes.

"So, that's it - my dark past," he laughed awkwardly, hands rubbing restlessly across her back.

"Thank you, Levi. For sharing with me," she said softly, meaning it with all her heart.

"I don't want to hide anything from you, Petra. It's just hard for me. I'm not used to this," Levi buried his head in her shoulder for a second.

She felt so relieved to have him back, her Levi, after all the strangeness last week.

Which reminded her.

"Was it the anniversary this week? Is that why you were so understandably off?" She gently enquired, feeling mean for even asking.

"Ugh, no. I ran into an old acquaintance of mine and Farlan's on shift. Brought everything back. I hadn't thought about it for a while," he frowned, as if it was unusual or bad.

"Life happens, it can't be helped sometimes," Petra argued for him.

"Yeah. Life," he said softly, quiet again for a minute before looking back up at her.

"Petra, I lost two families already - my biological one and the one that I made for myself. Now, I have a family that found me - Erwin, the Squad, but mostly - you. I don't want to lose another one, so I promise I'm going to try be more open. It's not going to be smooth sailing, but... Petra, I want to try. For you."

Tears once again filled Petra's eyes and she stroked the side of his face lovingly as she looked back into his eyes, her heart brimming with emotion.

"Levi, you will never lose me. No matter what. That's my promise," she told him firmly.

Giving her the first genuinely happy smile he'd given her all week, he placed a hand under her chin and drew her face to his, whispering one last sentence before joining their lips for the rest of the night.

"That's all I need."

 **Well? How was it? Plead let me know! :)**

 **God bless, happy readings!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi everyone! :) Ok, I had the majority of this chapter done since the day after I posted the last chapter, but I keep falling asleep when I'm writing. And then my iPad deleted a paragraph on me again! Uh..**

 **Anyway, the paramedic/medical lingo is all wrong, I know. Don't worry. Just ignore that fact and hopefully it won't take from the chapters! :P**

 **Hope you guys enjoy and thanks again for the amazing reviews on my stories :)**

* * *

Chapter Six

To say things went back to normal would be a lie. After opening up to her, things between Levi and Petra only got better. There was an unspoken bond knitted even tighter now, one that would not be easily broken.

They made sure to go on regular dates, talked about pretty much everything and just spent as much free time together as they could. Petra was deliriously happy and couldn't believe that she'd found someone just so right for her.

With only a couple of months left of her last year of college and her love life figured out, Petra was trying to figure out her next move.

Living with Levi was a definite thing - they'd even decided to repaint and redecorate some of the rooms together. Now she just needed a job.

Having looked into several aspects of physiotherapy and rehabilitation, she wasn't sure if she wanted to get into private or public aspects of her career path, the business side or what.

"Working in the business part pays a lot... But it's not as hands on as I'd like," Petra was saying to Günter and Eld one evening as they were leaving the college to head home.

"I know what you mean. It would feel like what's the point of learning all this in depth stuff just to sit behind a desk," Günter agreed in his gravelly voice.

"Well, personally, I'm definitely going for the practical part of the job," Eld stretched his arms above his head as the three sauntered towards the car park.

"Yeah? How come you're so sure?" Günter asked amusedly at the expression on their friends face.

"Easy, man - helping hot women soothe and relax their delicate bodies," he winked.

"Oh, gross, Eld. I'm pretty sure that violates the trust and basic rights of not being violated," Petra rolled her eyes, going to dig him in the ribs.

He just laughed and sidestepped her attempt easily.

"Naw, you know I'm just teasing. No, I want to be able to put to use the things I've slaved away learning here and help people," he answered honestly.

"What about you, Günter? Your candidacy is nearly up - you going to stick with firefighting or go a different route?" Petra asked curiously, tugging her scarf tighter around her neck.

It may have been spring, but it was still damn cold, the winter reluctant to release it's claws from the climate. The last of the snow was still falling and sticking, a thin layer covering everything.

"I think I'm going to stick with the firefighting route. It's just what I love doing, even though it's dangerous. And I've so much still to learn, I'd feel I was quitting before giving it a proper chance," he told them as he unlocked his car, which was closest of them all.

"Well, if you're as obsessed with it as Levi, you're making the right choice," Petra joked, waving at him as she and Eld parted ways to head to their own cars.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," she called out over her shoulder, taking out the keys to her own car.

She'd only had it about a month and a half, but she was so pleased. Nothing could beat the freedom it gave her.

The two guys called a farewell back and she slid into her seat, immediately turning on the car to get the heating going, music sounding out to welcome her in. Once the chill had been taken out of the air, she headed off, dying to get home and take a hot shower.

Petra's head was full possibilities and ideas about where she wanted to go with her upcoming degree, but she want sure she was completely sold on any of them.

She'd always wanted her own little clinic, but there was so much to organise and keep on top of, plus the cost of setting up.

Sighing, she turned onto the main road that would take her home, singing softly along with the music.

Stopping off for petrol and a coffee, she decided later she'd have to go on a thorough internet search and decide which route and where she wanted to go.

No way was she not going to earn a decent income and leave all the bills etc up to Levi. She'd make sure she pulled her own weight, not to mention she'd go stir crazy if she had nothing to do all day every day.

The road was slippy under the wheels, patches of black ice warned in some areas. It was going to take ages to get home.

"Great, just what it needs - more snow," Petra muttered as fat, soft snowflakes started pattering against her windscreen.

Flicking on the wipers, she took another sip of her coffee, letting the warmth flood into her stomach. There were a couple of cars on the road, a big commercial bus about three or four cars ahead on her lane.

A new song came on the radio and Petra turned it up, singing along to the melody. Her voice drifted off, however, as she saw the bus start to swerve slightly.

She took her foot off the accelerator to start to slow, touching her brakes not going to be an option on this snow slicked road, but the bus righted itself.

"Better slow down, buddy," she muttered frowning. They continued on for a few more seconds, Petra reaching down for another sip of coffee when it happened.

The driver of the bus must have been struggling for control because the big vehicle wavered again, but this time it didn't correct itself.

Jerking to the right, then back to the left, the back end of the bus kicked out and it spun onto the opposite lane of oncoming traffic. The squeal of brakes filled the air, followed swiftly by the crunch and smashing of metal, glass and plastic off the bus and the other cars that couldn't clear its oncoming spin.

The three or so cars in front of her hit the bus, then each other, forcing the nose of the bus to slam back towards the way it should have pointing.

Only, the traffic from the other side caused a barrier, the bus being caught in between like a trapped, metal animal.

Petra could do nothing but grip the steering wheel like a vice, her foot automatically slamming down on the brake. It did nothing as her car skidded sideways and towards the others.

The back of the car nearest loomed nearer and she braced herself for the inevitable impact that was second away.

Petra realised in that second she'd never felt more helpless before in her life.

* * *

The alarm for another call drilled throughout the firehouse, sending the men and women scattering for their gear and trucks.

Pulling off his own shoes, Levi shoved his feet down into his work boots beside the truck, snapping his suspenders into place on his shoulders.

"What have we got?" He asked as he slammed the door behind him and settled across from Aurou, who was driving the big rig.

"Multiple car crash on Highway 28, multiple casualties," Hanji answered, her face grim as she secured her hair back out of the way.

"The roads are lethal, it's a wonder there hasn't been more crashes," Mike stated as he stared serenely out the window. He never showed much of a reaction to anything, much like Levi himself, only in a less surly fashion.

"Any idea of how man vehicles involved?" Aurou asked as he rounded a corner behind the truck driven by Jean.

"Not sure exactly. Roughly eight or so. Everyone is heading home from work etc at this time," Hanji shrugged at the alarmed looks from her teammates.

"That many? Oh brother, this is going to be a long one," Moblit sighed.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure the people involved are going to be so apologetic for causing us the be out late," Levi replied dryly.

"Just saying, Levi," Moblit sighed.

"Ok, boys, enough. Let's just focus on the task ahead of us, ok?" Hanji waved her hand as if she could dispel the annoyance and dark moods.

When they arrived at the crash site, a road that was overshadowed by the towering mountain side that led from the outskirts down to the main city, it was dark.

Flashing lights glistened and reflected of wet vehicles and bounced back off the slushy snow. The sound of clinking, cooling metal, frantic voices calling out, sirens and orders being shot to others was overwhelming as Aurou pulled the truck to a halt just up the road from the crash.

And what a crash it was.

There were several cars scrunched and littered up against the body of bus, smoke and steam billowing into the air and whispering up towards the night sky.

According to the report, there were even more cars on the other side, the bus acting as barrier across the road.

"Right, let's get this show on the road. Set to work clearing passengers and locating any possible ignition points. Go to Erwin for any further instructions or information. Keep your walkies on," Levi instructed as he swung out of the passenger seat, feet sloshing in the churned up snow.

He was about to head off and see what the whole story was from Erwin when he saw the very man striding towards him, a grim expression on his face. The rest of the team were pulling equipment from the truck, readying themselves to help pull people from the wreckage so they could eventually start clearing vehicles.

"Erwin, what's the status?" He asked his Chief, looking down to zip up his coat.

He glanced back up with a frown when Erwin didn't answer straight away.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You look like someone just killed your cat or something," he grumbled at him.

"Levi. A lot of the traffic was coming from the town," Erwin stated, causing Levi to frown even more.

"Yes, your point?"

"And from the college."

The blonde man's tone and expression told him he wasn't saying this for no reason.

Levi felt his stomach drop, his worst fears immediately springing forth like vicious monsters from the back of his mind. No, no way. Life wouldn't be that cruel to him, would it?

"Ewrin.." He didn't know how to finish, but his friend cut in quickly after his information anyway.

"Yes, Petra was involved. But she's not badly hurt, just a few scrapes and she banged her head a bit," he tried to reassure his friend, whose face was pale and dark at the same time, steel eyes flashing in worry and fear.

"Where is she?" Levi demanded, his heart beat thundering in his ears.

He barely heard Erwin's directions, only saw him point in a direction before he was stalking across the accident scene, dodging people in uniforms, people covered in blood or looking shaken to their core.

Faces and objects blurred into the background as he hunted for Petra's car.

This couldn't be real. He could not be this... Cursed, to forever have his loved ones in danger in this way. It just wasn't fair.

Finally he caught sight of the little black car, it's bonnet smushed against a people carrier in front of it.

The drivers door was propped open and a slim pair of legs were perched on the bottom of the door frame. Caramel hair swung down in a curtain as Petra sat with her elbows on her knees, hands clasped out in front of her.

Relief and a huge desire to grab her and never let her out of his sight again made him nearly run to close the gap between em.

"Petra!" He called out, golden eyes shooting up and finding him.

He could see weary apprehension come across her features as she sat up.

"I'm fine, Levi, honestly," she tiredly assured him as he reached her, kneeling down and gently grasping her chin so he could turn her face to examine her.

His fingers gently brushed a cut above her right eyebrow, his mouth twitching unhappily.

"Are you sure you're not hurt anywhere else? Have you been seen to by a paramedic? Erwin said you hit your head," he drilled out worriedly, hands roaming her body to look for blood or any broken bones.

"No, no and only a little. I'm ok. Levi! Look at me," she insisted when he continued his frantic check.

He turned his gaze to hers and she placed her hands on his face, her touch cold from sitting on the snow encased roadside.

"I'm alright, I promise you. It's just a scratch," she said softly, her eyes calm but sad.

Searching her eyes for any hint that she was lying to reassure him, he let out a heavy sigh when he realised she actually was ok.

Dropping his head on her knee for a few seconds, he looked back at her hands rubbing her legs.

"Alright. Ok," he breathed out in relief.

"I was hoping you wouldn't get this call," she let out a shaky laugh, fingers gently trailing across the shaved undercut of his hair.

"And let some other firefighter look after you? Not likely," he said in a rough voice, his heart still pounding and mind raw from worry. He couldn't stop his eyes roving over her, as if some serious injury was suddenly going to appear and she would collapse in his grasp.

But it didn't and she didn't, she was fine. Life wasn't that cruel after all, it seemed.

"Levi, you need to go, you've a lot of work to do," Petra said softly, sliding her hands from his neck.

"I want to find you a medic, make sure you're seen to," he insisted, standing and gaze around for one of the navy uniforms.

"I don't need one Levi, I'm ok. There are people who are actually hurt. They need to be seen to first. Now go, ok?" His girlfriend insisted.

Looking down at her with his hands on his sides, Levi seriously considered throwing her over his shoulder and physically putting her in an ambulance. He knew he was overreacting though, also knowing she was right.

"Alright. But you're not sitting here. Come on, you can wait in the truck," he said as he held his hand out to her.

"What about my stuff?" She hesitated.

"Just grab your purse. I'll get your gym bag and all after," Levi promised.

Leaning across, Petra snagged her handbag and stiffly got out of the car. Taking her hand, Levi firmly wound his fingers through his, maki sure to hold her tight by his side as they wound through the madness and to the truck.

"Petra?" Hanji's alarmed face appeaser at their side as they neared the truck, an axe in her hands. "Oh my gosh, were yo- no, don't answer, stupid question. You ok?" She changed tact, placing a hand on Petra's shoulder.

"I'm fine, thanks Hanji. Can't say the same for my car though."

"Hanji, I'm leaving Petra to wait in the truck for a paramedic to take a look at her," Levi explained, more wanting to get rid of Hanji quicker than just fill her in. He wanted to know his girlfriend was tucked away somewhere safe while he worked.

"Of course! But we need you ASAP over by the bus, ok?" Giving him a pointed look, Hanji told Petra she was glad she was ok before continuing on her way.

"Here, sit," Levi pointed to a seat at the back corner of the spacious cabin once he'd escorted her into the truck.

Sitting beside her, her took her face in his hands, running his thumb across her lower lip.

"Stay here, ok? I'll come find you or a paramedic will. Other than that, please don't move," he implored her.

She merely nodded, her skin gently chafing off his rough hands. With a serious look, Levi lowered his lips on hers, kissing her long and hard.

He savoured the feel of his mouth moving with hers, of the warmth and love beneath the motion. He could have lost her tonight.

His chest gave an almost painful leap and his grip tighter ended on her, pressing his face even closer to her so forehead and nose were gently presses against her, as many points of contact made as possible.

He wanted to memorise every feel, touch, her delicate, sweet smell and every detail of her beautiful face.

Releasing her was too had, but other needed him, so he did, kissing her forehead and then giving her a last glance over his shoulder as he exited the truck.

She gave him a watery smile, urging him on. So he went, shutting the door behind him,

Releasing another sigh, Levi pinched the bridge of his nose as he strode back across to the bus after informing Armin, one of the regular paramedics on their shifts, to check on Petra when he could. The young blonde man assured him he or his partner, Marco, would check her over soon.

Several of the squad were already at the bus, working with some paramedics to stabilise, then move some passengers. As Levi went to board the wrecked bus, he had to quickly step back for two men carrying off a stretcher.

Except, they weren't in a rush as their patient was long past medical care.

A white sheet covered the body, a small blood stain seeping lightly through from a point on the head.

Levi grit his teeth, remorse briefly flickering through him before he shoved it aside. He'd be no good at his job if let every victim get to him, to affect his concentration.

Also, he had to slam back that horrible, niggling voice that whispered that the body could have been Petra tonight.

He refused to let it in though, mentally picturing her sitting in the truck right this second, exactly where he left her.

"The driver," a voice sounded behind him, Erwin coming to join him as the stretcher passed by. "Lost control of the bus, according to a passenger from close to the front."

"Any other fatalities?" Levi asked, not really wanting an answer but needing to know.

"Two. Young man driving on the opposite side: The bus spun and hit straight into his car. Also an elderly woman. She had a bad heart and received a blow to the chest. It was too much for her," Erwin frowned.

"How many left on the bus?"

"Twelve. Paramedics are working on stabilising them now. Jean, Eren, Mikasa and Aurou are waiting to free the trapped ones and ensure the bus remains in a safe state. I need you to help Mike get a couple from their car."

"Right, well, better head over then," Levi said, but he felt a wave of nauseating déjà vu wash over him.

This was all too close to home, too similar to Farlan and Isabel. He felt this might overwhelm him.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to get a grip. This was his job, damn it, and he was going to do it.

"Mike, what we got?"

"The frames compromised, buckled in so the door won't open. We need to prise it open, but the drivers unconscious and pinned by the steering wheel and even then the car is smashed into that SUV. It'll take a while to clear, time we can't afford to risk," Mike glanced at Levi, who nodded as he thought through the plan and possible scenarios.

"Ok, we'll use the jaws to prise open the frame on the passenger side, remove the passenger then use that side to access the driver. We might be able to slide her out of the passenger side," was Levi's plan, simple unless there were complications.

Mike prepared the equipment while his co-worker talked to the passenger through the broken window, the drivers husband it turned out.

"Will it be safe for Tammy? Shouldn't you get her first?" The man asked wildly, eyes darting around in panic and shock.

"We can't get her out without moving you first," Levi explained patiently. "She's pinned by the steering wheel and the door is jammed, but we're going to get her out."

Levi didn't see the point in lying about the situation; The man was here, he could see what was happening and, to be honest, it couldn't be more upsetting than what had already happened.

Levi was about to go get his gear when a hand grabbed his wrist and he looked down into pleading, soulful eyes.

"Ok... Just promise me she'll be ok? Promise me that, please?"

Hesitating, the dark eyed firefighter grit his teeth. That was a promise he couldn't make, be he pointedly refused to offer people when it could so easily turn around on him.

"We'll do everything we can," was all he could offer in the end.

The work on the passengers door was quick work, prying apart in seconds.

Once the husband, Harry, was safely on his way to an ambulance, the two men turned to he woman. She was still unconscious as Levi slid into the passenger seat to check her vitals and the position of the displaced steering wheel.

"What's the story, Levi?" Mike asked, leaning on the car hood behind him and peering into the car.

"Steering wheel shouldn't be to difficult to remove. Her legs look clean, should be a clear lift out once we get a neck brace on her," his voice came over his shoulder to Mike.

"We'll need more hands as well as paramedics then. I'll radio for anyone who's free," Mike replied, turning away to do that.

Once they had the crew assembled, Levi quickly worked on cutting away the steering wheel, Eren holding a blanket over Tammy's face to protect her from debris or sparks as well as keep her steady in case she suddenly woke from the back seat.

"Ok, I'm going to move to the back and help slide her out. Mike, Aurou be ready to get her out," Levi ordered as he got into the back instead of Eren, where he could support the victims head and neck as the others slid her out.

They got into position, ready to guide her out head first. Mike had her head, so he had first call.

"On my count," he prepared them, "Three, two, one!"

They were just turning her, Levi helping shift her torso when he saw it.

"Stop, stop!" He yelled, the men ceasing immediately.

"What is it?" Aurou frowned with worry.

"It looks like something's stuck in her side..." Levi trailed off as he clicked on his flashlight for a better look. "Shit. Some metal from the door is impaled in her side. She's lost a lot of blood."

"So what next? If she's bleeding out we need to move her, fast," Mike said to Levi, his voice as quietly calm as usual but his expression darkened.

"We need to cut free the metal and get her out ASAP. Cutting it's gonna be a pain in the ass, though," he rubbed his brow with the back of his hand.

"You'll be at the best angle back there."

"That's what I was thinking," he sighed.

Aurou passed the blade through to him and he started to delicately cut thorough the metal. He'd tried to steady it as much as possible by tying a binding around it and around the back of the seat. If it had anything major, moving it could make her bleed out faster or tear something.

Sweat beaded and slid down from his crown and also down his spine. He literally had this woman's life in his hands.

The last cut was the most difficult. If he jerked or the release caused it to move, it might be enough to inflict fatal damage.

It was a painfully delicate operation.

"Ok, that's it, she free," he sighed as he made the last cut cleanly, handing the blade to Eren and helping Mike who was ready to move her.

Ymir and Historia, two regular paramedics on their shift, were already set to work on Tammy when he reached the ambulance a few seconds after them.

"She's lost too much blood to move her," Historia was muttering, "We have to stabilise her first."

The two women worked deftly and with fevered haste. Ymir was replacing wad after wad of material to try stem the bleeding, Historia trying to stabilise her heartrate.

It wasn't working in their favour, Levi realised with dread.

The wires attached to Tammy's skin sent them a heart wrenching noise. The high pitched drilling beep of a flatline rose the hairs on Levi's arms and the paramedics eyes flew to their monitors.

"She's crashing! We're losing her," Ymir yelled, grabbing the defibrillator pads and setting them to charge. "Charging, 120. Clear!"

Historia lifted her hands from the patient as the paddles came down on the woman's chest, the pulse of the shock causing her body to twitch.

An unbidden image flashed through Levi's mind as she jerked, of Farlan's too still form, a sheet being pulled over his face.

"No response. Charging to 160. Clear," came the call again.

Tammy's body arched higher as the voltage was raised, but there was still no response from the woman.

Another flash, of Isabel this time, covered in dark red, crying out in pain for him, for Farlan, who could never answer her call.

"Still in asystoally. Charging 200," Ymir's voice held a tinge of desperation in it now as she lowered the pads with a warning again.

This time, it was Petra he saw. But instead of her sitting in her car as he'd found her, she was draped across her steering wheel, blood covering her face and her eyes unseeing.

Levi gave his head a hard shake to the right, like he might knock loose the haunting image in his mind.

Instead he turned his gaze back to the paramedics desperately try into save a life. They continued working for a time that felt like an age but was probably only a minute or two.

The shrill noise of the flatline continued, followed by contained silence in and just around the ambulance.

Hands ceased working on the victim as it became clear she'd lost the fight, that her heart had given up it's dedicated march.

"I'm calling it," Ymir muttered, stripping her gloves off angrily.

"No," Historia whispered, tears welling up in her eyes and spilling down her cheeks.

She dropped her head and pressed her face to her shoulder to dry them.

"Time of death 7:25pm. I'm sorry guys," the frustrated paramedic told the men.

"It's not your fault,"Aurou answered, shaking his head in dismay.

Smiling without any real emotion behind it, the two women turned to cleaning up and getting ready to transport the body.

Levi felt hollow, from the awful pictures that had invaded his mind, but also the sight of the dead woman. They hadn't got there in time and now she was gone.

He had just walked away when Eren jogged up to him.

"Levi.. I was just wondering.. Well, before at the car.."

"Spit it out, brat, I haven't all day. There are more people to get to," the shorter man snapped.

"Well, it was just the husband. I was wondering who was going to tell him..."

Levi stopped mid stride, a sickly feeling of dread washing through him.

"Right. I suppose that'll be me. Go check in with Erwin where he needs you next," he deflected, watching Eren nod and walk swiftly away, shoulders tense and hunched.

"Kid," he called after the rookie.

The dark haired boy turned to look at him.

"It happens sometimes. We did the best we could. Don't doubt it," Levi said in a monotone voice, an eyebrow hitched.

A small smile flitted across Eren's face before he nodded once more and turned on his way.

Turning to head towards the ambulance Harry was taken, Levi braced himself for delivering the earth shattering news.

The sandy haired man was sitting on the end of a stretcher, buttoning his shirt as the paramedic finished his check up. His eyes wandered up and caught sight of Levi approaching him.

Levi could pinpoint the moment the man realised he was not bearing happy news.

A disbelieving, almost angry look, came over his features and he shook his head, eyes filling with a pain Levi knew all too well.

"No. No!" He whispered as the firefighter neared him.

"I am sorry. We did all we could, but your wife had lost a lot of blood," offering the words seemed pointless, as if details could hold some comfort.

"How? She'd hit her head. I didn't see any blood," Harry accused.

"A scrap of the frame had come apart from the door. I'm afraid it struck your wife," Levi explained gently. "She'd lost too much blood, the paramedics fought for her, but..." He shook his head.

A frown creased by grief accompanied the trembling lips as the grieving man braced his hands on his knees.

"No, Tammy," he whispered before breaking down into raspy sobs, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

Stepping forward, Levi sat heavily beside him on the edge of the ambulance and out a hand on his shoulder. The man nodded in acknowledgment, glancing at him briefly before a fresh sob tore through him.

No words would heal even a sliver of pain, especially when it was so fresh, so they instead sat as Harry cried for his loss.

After a minute, Levi's radio crackled an interference, Hanji's voice calling him for immediate assistance on the far side of the bus.

The man beside him sniffles, looking up at him with swollen, red eyes.

"That sounds important. You should go," he tried to say normally, but his voice cracked as he spoke.

"You sure?"

"Yes. And thank you. I know you all tried your best," he nodded vehemently, as if he knew the doubts circling through all their minds, as they always did.

With a last pat on the shoulder, Levi stood and looked down at the broken man.

"You don't get over it or move on. But you learn to live with and recognise it as your way of carrying on their love. You just need to get through the next few weeks. It'll get easier, I promise," Levi said softly.

He didn't know if it would help, but it was the only real words he could actually offer.

The man sat for a second before nodding again, his expression showing he appreciated the advice.

His radio crackling again for his presence, Levi gave a returning nod and turned towards his new destination, leaving the man with the only promise Levi was sure of.

* * *

When Petra could no longer take sitting in the fish bowl confinement of the truck, she pulled her jacket tighter around her shoulders and stepped out.

She was blasted by a wall of cold air, sounds of pure mayhem clashing against her eardrums.

Looking around, the sight of people rushing to aid people, or being rushed to ambulances was almost as haunting as the sight of the few people wandering around, lost and in pain.

Walking slowly towards the scene, one sight in particular caught her attention.

A young boy lay in the back of an ambulance, a hand over his eyes as he scrunched his face in pain. His other hand gripped a middle aged woman's hand, her face blank with overwhelmed pain.

Causing the pain was the boys leg, soaked in blood and looking as mangled as some of the twisted metal around them.

The poor boy, Petra thought, in so much pain, his body warped into something so gruesome and foreign. He'd probably never heal from that injury totally, at least not mentally, anyway.

The caramel haired young woman wanted to go over and comfort the boy, to try help his pain. Someone so young should not have to cope with someone like this.

Standing by the edge of the crash scene, her eyes wandered the rest of the road, crimson trails and pools now mixing with the dirtied snow.

There was no pure, unblemished surface anymore - it had all been tainted with death and pain.

A hand gently caught Petra's shoulder and she turned to see a blonde boy smiling at her in a sad, clinical way.

"Petra? I'm Armin, Levi asked me to take a look at you," the paramedic told her.

"Hi, Armin. I'm fine, honestly. Levi's just such a worrier,' she shook her head in distracted amusement.

"I'm sure he has no reason to be, but maybe let's take a quick look anyway. Otherwise he'll just hunt me down and drag you to me or someone else," Armin reasoned.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she sighed in defeat. "Ok, let's get this done quickly, so you can get back to your real patients."

As she was led towards the ambulances, more and more sights of injured or worried people. It chilled her to the bone, knowing so many lives would never be the same again.

"Here, just take a seat and I'll check your pressure and pupils, ok?" The paramedic's voice nearly washed straight over her.

She nodded a brief confirmation at him and he got to work checking her over.

A firefighter, whom Petra hadn't met before, was helping a man to gather his three children towards an ambulance, the little girl crying frantically in her fathers arms, the two boys pottering along holding the two mens hands.

The mans face was full of hidden pain, trying to be strong for his children, but falling apart on the inside.

A sharp feeling of helplessness was overshadowed by the sudden need to help these people. To aid them in their recovery.

That was it.

Looking out at the chaotic scene, Petra knew in that moment, that was what she wanted to do.

To help the everyday people recover from horrific nightmares and get back to their lives. To not let them be defined by an injury.

She was going to find a centre or clinic and help people heal and help themselves.

She was going to try make a difference.

"Ok, everything looks fine. You can go back and wait in the truck now, if you'd like," Armin smiled a few minutes later, having done a thorough check, no doubt on Levi's instance.

Standing, Petra thanked him and started to walk towards he direction she'd seen the smiley headed.

"Wait, where are you gong? The trucks that way," Armin called out in a confused voice.

"I'm not going to the truck," she turned to look over her shoulder, the blonde man raising a helpless hand to stop her.

"Where are you going then? It's dangerous out there."

"I refuse to sit and watch others suffer," Petra told him honestly."

Giving him a last look over her shoulder, she shrugged and continued on her travels.

"I'm going to help people."

* * *

 **Here you go, one more done! :) hope you're still enjoying, please keep e beautiful reviews coming.**

 **Thanks for the support, sorry for the spelling mistakes! :P It swaps in words and letters sometimes or they just don't type in.. Very annoying and my eyes automatically skip over because they know what's supposed to be there and don't always catch the mistakes! Oops...**


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